A BlitHe HeArt MAkes A BloOming ViSagE

Stupidity

2009-12-21T22:29:00.000+08:00

I guess... the worst kinda illness is stupidity...
It just can't be cured...

The End

2009-09-21T19:04:00.002+08:00

I guess this marks the end...

It takes a lot of courage to love, and it takes a lot of courage to leave.
Sometimes you have to fight for your rights To get what you should have as an individual.

What if he can't give you what u rightfully deserves?

Don't you wish, crying and wailing gets you your way?

Some times, your heart wants to just reach out. But it seems like pride takes the way. I'm just very often, not the women that men would give in to. I'm just not the woman men will love and protect with all their heart and soul.

What's wrong? Do i seem too strong to need any protection? Do i seem too independent to need anyone?

Crap... What am i talking about? I should just shut up...

Pacifying me...

2009-08-18T07:58:00.002+08:00

how to pacify a warrior princess:
Listen and give her a voice for her problems.
Let her vent when needed.
Support and back her up when she needs it. Let her cry and vent, and offer the shoulder.
Let her ogle at my cute butt.
Pick her up from the airport.

(Pass... offer the sturdy and strong shoulders --> Distinction!)

Hm...

2009-04-04T23:16:00.002+08:00

What will i be in 2 years time? 5 years time?

Ans: I will be the mother of 2 kid... I will have a Mr of Elena Lim
Ans: My sch would be proud of me...

Hectic life of changes

2009-03-12T21:10:00.002+08:00

Well... Another post about me and my job.
Last year 23rd June i started working... So, till now it's less than 9 months to be exact!

Ok, let me start... Beginning of work.. i had a whole series of DRAMA... Ask me about it when u meet me... (Too long story)
End July then, was my very first presentation.
Then i was supposed to work with my very 'objective' boss, whom i had lots of trouble getting his time, and attention as he was the No. 2 man in my company. He will asked me very simple yet emotionless questions... Sessions spend with him was tough because he didn't even ask how i'm doing, u know, those typical question a boss should be asking his new comer.
Then came learning about an equipment, which i had to work with another 2 guys who were experts in it.
That went on for like the next 2 months after my very first presentation.
Come sept, i was tasked to learn more about IT in Indonesia. So i had a co-boss to handle also. And people are all different.. So it was adaptation. Plus the country was few hours of flight away and people are only communicable vis Email/Phone/SMS. So... I had to adapt. The whole thing for indonesia ended around Jan'09 with a final presentation.
Since then i had to work on Cambodia! And with a new Boss!!! He's very very good, but initially had a super hard time to communicate with him. But now things are starting to warm up. And today... I'm informed.. I have to change again...

Change to some equipment that i like less. And a market that i never thought i wanted to do. So... in less than 9 month... I had to make major adaptations over and over and over again....

I'm more tired by the 'hective changes in my life" than anything else. On top of that... int he month of Dec'08 to Feb'09, there were so many changes in my personal life at hm... Gosh...

I hope these are all for the better...
I don't think anyone has had this kinda change like i do... Nevertheless.. I better prove myself to be good.. Else i can go bang wall!!!

Corporate Life

2009-03-10T22:04:00.002+08:00

i started work on 23rd June 2009. It has been close to 9 months...
Corporate life... I would say... is not the best part of living. You realise that everything done at work is for a purpose. Well, we may say, we live for a greater purpose.
My job function is sales. But i haven't really gotten any sales done. Once a while, i will be in contact with my customers. They are not in my home country and communication is tough; with the phone line breaking with few words spoken. With reply broken... It's really tough to get the market moving.

Now wonder, what can i do to speed things up in the country when i'm so far away. Mr Boss always ask me for numbers. But what numbers can i give to him? I feel totally crippled, in language, in knowledge, in even contact and communication. All i can think of is marketing stuffs for my country...

Everytime i think of writing for blog.. I end up not writing anything that make sense... Is it my writing skills? Or maybe i'm not emotional enough to even pen things down.. I suck at this... Damn it!

updates

2009-02-22T17:21:00.002+08:00

Hello Sada Vi Le Lo...

MY new job is a job that everyone dreams to have... Or at least the people around me.

Life is so different for the past 3 months especially, since my dad got ill. He's suffering from Wegener's Granulatomosis. And when i say Suffering, he really is SUFFERING from it... The effect of the medication and the illness itself is shocking. The ageing in his skin, the lack of strength and energy in his action and movements. And a father whom i never expects i would see...

Since i was 9 years old, i gotten used to coming hm to a pretty much empty house... With radio, TV as my company... Afterwhich, i stayed in NTU hostel for like 3 years, for which the times when i came home... It was more of like a break for me... My family grew apart, in some ways when my grandmother passed away few years back...

With the illness that my father is having, it seems overwhelming sometimes to have so many people at my place, hanging around, visiting and cooking etc etc...

Somehow or another, i thinki've slowly gotten used to it...
My work is great despite the hiccups that i encounter once a while. I still think i should be thankful to him who gave me a chance.

He gave me more than just a job. He taught me a lot, directly or indirectly allowing me to learn, love and experience things which i don't know if i could without his presence.

I made a big investment on a DSLR recently and am having fun with it...

Recently, i spend a lot of time crying... whailing out to people... like Shun, Fei, Stephanie and others... People grew apart often due to relationships, work etc... I guess i'm one of them. But i regret for all the special bonds that were present previously and seems to be missing now...

People all grow up, and people always live for themselves. I live for myself many times, but for some situation, i'm pushed around too much. Often when told to friends who cared about me... I get whacked:"why can't u just protect urself." " I'm worried for you, if u always get pushed around like that!" are just some of the common phrases people say to me...

I am a very big emotional sponge, and i think what Mr. M.D says about me is right... That i've done better than what others could if in my current situation. If he had know the entire situation, i guess... I'd be his idol...

Indeed, i feel that in many cases, i've done better than what others had. It was tough, each and everytime things happened and pass by, i cry and wail and yell and hit people... But i always will hold through all troubles and worries... Well, that's me. If you know me well enough, i tear so much each and everyday, but i do understand that whatever don't kill me, does make ms so so so so much stronger.

Anyway, I've said this so many times and i will keep saying this... Until, i can live like days, months and years of my life feeling satisfied internally. When i say this... I'm just looking for times when the net emotion each day is +ve. And i can smile to sleep everyday... Wake up looking forward to happy times ahead...

Smile my dear friends!

my birthday

2009-02-17T23:37:00.001+08:00

He say he will spend that day with me... Will he?
Really?

men are men...

2008-12-04T07:46:00.002+08:00

When a man don't love u... forget about all the promises he has made...
Men are afterall men...

What difference are they from ***?

It has been quite some time...

2008-10-29T23:37:00.003+08:00

Since 8th May... My life changed so much...
To someone i feel so unsure of...
Is this the real me? Is this what is not me?

I am so difficult to understand these days...
I have the bestest job i can ever thought of having, cool, funky colleagues... Colleagues more sporting than others...

Today, i had interaction with my boss, he's still sweet to me...
S. came online today, just to say hi to me... And apologised saying, she's sorry that she hasn't been spending enough time for me... Asked me for a dinner with vendor...
KT asked me out for coffee... Only today, it's not convenient for me to have coffee... I made him mocha (gao gao ) instead...
KH called me a sweetie and asked me to go for drinking session tonight...
Steph is a good buddy... nice to bitch with... and she still owe me a dinner... haha...

I had lunch with mt. costing 65 just for 2 main course...

An ex-student's mum dropped me msg, saying she's glad to hear from me for Diwali, and said, they miss me a lot, hope to hear from me. So i offered to help Shar with tuition once again...
C is so nice, he is bringing me for Halloween this friday... he had been very nice to me, since we started contacting like 2 months back. I wonder if he's pitying me as well... Feeling that i feel somewhat maybe empty inside?!

K. bought me a CD.
Quek listened to me telling her about 1 sad month in my life... following the crying... then stop crying...
Denise listens to my complain all the time... hang out with me whenever we can...
Fei-jie, though sometimes i get rude to her... She's been very forgiving... thinking that.. I'm just her xiao-meimei and forgives me for all that i say.. and all that i do...
Shunz... listen to my.. "aye.. i damn sianz..."

I had my company DnD, and i won the best dress... People see me and regard me as high potential in office... Some welcome me, some are so happy to see me.

Some Nepalese guy seems to like me, msged smth like 'miss u'... I dare not even reply...

I'm waiting for YF to send me a postcard... I wonder if he forgot about it, or is it going to take too long... Coming from China or Sweden... Hm...

I'm going back to learning my bike... Next lesson is scheduled on 2nd Nov afternoon...

Brother's wedding is soon... next friday... I'll be on leave... The biggest thing at Limster for don't know how many years...

Last week, got the 1st taste of how it feels when pple ask me to get married... Might be just a casual remark. But i just know it will never be soon...

In September, there was this period of time... Every morning i woke up with a sigh... Thinking why is there a need to live.
We're just a shell, and i've lost my soul...
I can't understand how people find so much meaning in living.
Don't they know that no one's indispensible in this world.
The world will go on... regardless of who's absence or presence...
Yes... Some people make a difference, make a change... Yet there are also many thing that doesn't actually even need a change... So, why change...

Why your presence that make such changes... That is actually no change... Things remain in status quo, though the rationale behind it is different... Yet, what's the use of such rationale when nothing can be done...

Everyday, we are just waiting for some meaning to come. But when it comes... u realise that, it's not for u to own that meaning... To own that life, what would u do?

These few months has been very emotional for me... Having been in relationships for over the past 8-9 years, and suddenly being single once again... I start keeping things in myself again, because i'm so used to sharing everything with my significant other.

My trusted one... where is he? when is he coming to me? is he even there for me?

I'm not desperate for a partner. Just that when i looked back, life seems so much easier, simpler all because of the presence of someone. Doesn't even necessarily be a special one, doesn't even need to be someone u love deeply. But it was so much easier. No matter how much it seems like u don't want to marry that person. It's as though everyday, u r working to plan for something in the future, better ahead... Need not be a family, need not be a home... But there's just someone to lean on when u feel really down...

Now. Me. I'm expected to understand. Expected to tolerate. Expected to be nice. Expected to know how. Expected to do everything. Just because i look like i'm strong, super career minded... doesn't mean i'm made of metal. I have emotions too...

Enqi said... "U look like u don't need a man..." Should i feel good about that?
A. said... " You've changed so much. When i first met you, you look like someone who will not fall in love. I thought, wow, this girl is so professional!"
A. said... " Beauty, Brain, Bitch"

The world is so messy these days... There's an article " Lust @ lunch" in the women's weekly magazine... Read it if u can... Think about the faith when it comes to marriage....

My ideal, marry a man say.... ard... 42... he has everything, no need to think about car, house, career etc... No hassle, of going thru things like, how much for apartment down payment. 20 yrs later, he's 62, i'm 43. Still alright.. Chilren ard 17 yr old... When he's 70, can start taking care of him... And by then my child around 25... I'm ard 50... And then... when he dies... i'll focus on career... holiday.. else grandchildren... With his insurance money and saving, i'll have a good life... If good, i might still be able to get good companion... What a life...

I'm very bad at expressing myself, even not go for a wake... because i do not know what to say... I never really know how to make pple feel that i love them except for trying to do the right things... alamak.. i'm not even making sense here...

I have a very weird feeling anyway, seems like something might be happening soon... Don't ask me wat... but like there's something coming up... We shall see...

My life... no excitement for the next few years... It will all be about work... and people whom i go out with, drink with, eat with, work with... what else... No marriage... no love... no children... not at the moment for me...

I'll be 24 next year... 2 dozens, 3 eights, 4 sixes, 5 four-point-eight, and 6 fours... What will i do on my birthday... I think it's a wednesday... Not a very exciting for anything to happen...

I'm just a simple girl, simple person. What to expect... No special person to give me flower... not on valentine's... not on my birthday...

What about Christmas this year? No more earrings in Chocolates... No more romantic dinners... No more JB shopping... No more so many things...

I don't need a boyfriend. I need a specific aim/ meaning/goal... Like, i want to be XXX in XX company by Xyrs that kinda thing.. But i know.. nothing can satisfy me... nothing will make me feel really OMPH! to work hard...

At the end of each day... We just want to be happy...
That's why we seek ways and means to try to get what we want...
Some of us get happy by gaining power, so we climb up the ladder...
Some of us get happy by having more money, so we increase our sales...
Some of us get happy by having sex, so we go around screwing people...
some of us get happy by looking pretty, we end up going for so many enhancements and surgery...

Perhaps, those are our insecurities...
The lousier u are, the more you want to be on the top...
The richer u are, the more you think u are not as rich as XXX...
The less potent you are, the more you want to prove your worthiness...
The prettier you are, the more you are afraid to look ugly...

My my.... i can really talk crap...
Till then....

For the love of my life...

2008-10-29T23:26:00.001+08:00

You Are The Love Of My Life - George Benson

You Are The Love Of My Life
I knew it right from the start
The moment I looked at you
You found a place in my heart

You Are The Love Of My Life
You give me reason to live
You taught me how to be strong
With you is where I belong

No one's ever touched me
Quite the way you touched me
People search a life time
To find what we have

You Are The Love Of My Life
One thing that's good in this life
I'll spend the rest of my days
Just loving you

You Are The Love Of My Life
The heart and sould of my life
Once I was lost and alone
With you at last I am home

You Are The Love Of My Life
You give me reason to live
You give me so much of you
And leave me room to be free

No one's ever touched me
Quite the way you touched me
People search a life time
To find what we have

You Are The Love Of My Life
One thing that's good in this life
And in a world full of change
One thing I'm sure of

You Are The Love Of My Life
The one thing that makes sense in this world
I'll spend the rest of my days
Just loving you...

You Are The Love Of My Life
And I thank GOD I'm alive
To spend my lifetime with you
You Are The Love Of My Life.

Love poem.. for my far away lover...

2008-10-20T23:19:00.001+08:00

We smiled when we part...
Now we live miles apart...
I'll fill you in my dreams...
Unto you.. i give my heart....

Company DnD

2008-10-18T12:17:00.002+08:00

Mambo Jumbo! Retro! was the theme for my company DnD...
I'm only in the company for about 3.5 months...
And the very first DnD i attended...

It was great fun... until i felt so tired of all the picture taking... hm... But it's ok...

I think i have become pretty quiet recently.... Not much ramblings n etc...
Or maybe i talk to much that i can't bring myself to put them down in words anymore...

So.. i'll just put some pictures here... and that's it.. close this entry... Anyway, i don't even know if there's anyone still reading the blog.. haha.. just for fun then.....

From 10. GE-DnD

Do i look Retro enough?

From 10. GE-DnD

This is me n my HR manager....

From 10. GE-DnD

Boss... Me... My DnD Chairperson....

From 10. GE-DnD

The group of girls...

From 10. GE-DnD

Me and my favorite lawyer...

From 10. GE-DnD

Me and Guy... My newest Neighbor...

From 10. GE-DnD

My big boss ex-PA, my punky fren... n me...

From 10. GE-DnD

My table...

lover...

2008-10-18T12:13:00.001+08:00

What Kind of Date Are You?
	You are a Romantic. You know how to please your partner and make them feel special. You get to know them and find what they like. You truly care about them and how they feel.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Sexy...

2008-10-18T12:10:00.001+08:00

How Sexy Are You?
	You are Foxy. Wherever you go, people can't keep their eyes off of you. You are cool, classy and seductive. You love the attention you get and flirt with everyone. You are never alone- and never will be. You are popular and your phone is always ringing. Your life is absolutely perfect and you would not change one thing about it! You love being a sexy fox!
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

My Ba Zi

2008-09-28T18:30:00.000+08:00

Personality and Character

You are very good in judging others and hardly make an error. You plan strategies and sense the weaknesses of your adversaries. Your sense of compassion and understanding easily draw people to you. You are determined, ambitious, knowledgeable and innovative which will likely make you financially successful. Your reserved ways and quiet mannerisms emphasize your strength and worthiness to others. As a sensitive person your ego can be bruised easily as you do not tolerate any disrespect.

You are a gifted person who can accomplish a great deal if properly motivated. You are also good at know-how to manage, handle and use others through your diplomatic talent. You are fast in reacting to situations, catching opportunities and can see what people want from you.

Romance and Compatibilities

You have a high libido and often have a busy sex life and secret affairs. You need a family, so marriage is important. The extramarital affairs will create conflicts and cause much problem to you. You always crave and look for a complementary broad-minded person to share your life with. Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio and Capricorn born in Snake/Rat/Rooster years are your favorite.

You are open and explicitly sexual with men. You like to teach and train your men as lovers and so you often choose younger men as your lovers.

Profession

You are steady, courageous, creative and innovative. You desire to live in luxury and with your strength, dedication and patience you can become rich if you choose to be. Integrity and respect is important to you as a boss. As an employee, you are reliable but a bit too slow. Suitable careers include company director, administrator, stockbroker, office manager or lawyer.

You will achieve much success in the financial field like mortgages, financial futures, stock broking and money market. You are capable in planning, building, developing and operating a business enterprise. In short, you hope to become a capitalist and you often associate with people in high places.

Adopt a child...

2008-09-28T12:40:00.001+08:00

What's wrong with adoption?
What's wrong with giving meaning and life to myself and someone else...
Isn't it better to be slogging n etc...
Instead of leading each day... Feeling like dying??

that one...

2008-08-29T22:49:00.002+08:00

I always used to believe that... there is just that someone... somewhere in the world for each and everyone...
A perfect fit... a perfect match...

But... it's a matter of.. when u will find him/her...
When u are old and failing in health? Or when u are still young and vibrant...

Where will u find him/her?
Just across the street? Or... in the next continent... Or... if fate doesn't allow... u never find that someone special...

Maybe you will find... maybe you won't in your lifetime...
But i still believe that he/she exists...
The perfect match...

Otherwise... would u settle for less?

Flowers everyday...

2008-07-26T22:58:00.001+08:00

When i get super rich.. super super rich...
The thing i will get is...
Fresh flowers to my house eeveryday!!

The smell of it.. WOW! Amazing... i can't describe!

am i lost?

2008-06-29T23:59:00.002+08:00

thank u Mr Glenn Lee Junxiang...
He's bringing me out on a trip to KL...

Well.. he says: " u know what?! u r feeling lost.. I'd been thru the stage too. And... u just need time alone and u will know what u want!"

Heh...
Well, i have many things in life now.. and i have nothing in life now...
Yes i'm embarking on a journey, a new exciting journey... But then again, because it's just starting.. i actually have nothing NOW! Nothing at all...
Maybe soon i will have something.. maybe soon i will have everything...

But, i will be stronger, i will be much more stronger than what people want me to be. Afterall, i'm the very first, and one and only CDP trainee in my company...

I love my company, i love my position, i love my boss!! He gave me all the things that i had never expect i could ever have!!

Well, i also have to stop drinking so much. Recently got the habit of drinking.. not really say drinking but when u go out with people, u drink!!
Isaac just told me that for every like 1ml of beer, it's 7 calories... Heh.. thanks Bro...

So, i will have to try to cut down my food in take also. Eat less, since the drinking part is pretty hard to get rid of, so... cut the food consumption la...

What do i want? what do i expect.. i don't know... The BEST???

New look... new job...

2008-06-07T17:35:00.001+08:00

This is how my hair looks like now...
I was feeling so bored.. i decided to go for a hair cut!
I had too much forehead.. because.. the hair just seems to thin which ever way i part it...
So.. i decided to have some fringe.. and now.. i have no forehead!!
It's like.. only 45 mins after the haircut.. and i feel so hot on my fore head... But this hairstyle might need quite a lot of maintainence... Bought a Visal Sasson clipper.. to clip my hair straight. The hair style i had previously was so 'not 3 not 4' so it was a little difficult to cut.
The stylist was a nice cute boy who took lots of patience man... $20.90 for a wash and hair cut which took altogether about 1h 20 mins?!!! It's so hard to earn my money...
How.. this hair covers my brow... so.. does it mean that i don't have to ask for threading...
Hm... a new hair for a new start! yeah!!!
I had the few most daring thing done, in my perception... Some of which i can't tell.. haheha.....

Convo hat...

2008-05-22T10:29:00.000+08:00

Interestingly.. pple just love to wear other pple's hat... hm....

GE healthcare

2008-05-22T07:48:00.004+08:00

I had about 4/5 Gin Tonic last night at the living room (Marriot) with Arun....

He sent me back...
BMW is really good... silent... comfortable...

And... he mentioned...
"I hope we'll remain friends no matter what the result is. But you have good chance"

Well... i hope so...

i told ken that.. say, if i don't get it... then.. so be it... then i'll at least have a High flyer friend... a CEO friend...

Will be off to Bali... so... hope everything will go well... in my absence....
Hope he and the HR manager will not find a better replacement than me! for the position... Cos.. the program has been approved by the international HR VP....

hm....

Stress! scared!

2008-05-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

Stress!! stress!!
Just wrote letter to GE healthcare CEO!!
Just found out that i need to present to those scientist in my trip to ShenZhen!! Ah!! Super stressed la!!!!!!
I thought the most important presentation is over la!!!

But now.. i have a more important one than this!! URGH!! stress!!

I'll be going for my STB management trainee interview tml!
First round!
I hope everything will be good..
I was just looking at my schedule. And i thought i can rest, i thought i could start sleeping more..
But maybe my break will only be those 3 days diving in Bali,
Other than that... i still have to learn my Motor Bike, and i still have to prepare the presentation slide... Ah.. Ah... so scared!!

This is me... heh...

2008-05-10T18:27:00.001+08:00

What's Your Personality Type?

Life as an INTJ

(Introvert, Intuitive, Thinker, Judger)

People of this type tend to be: autonomous, aloof, and intellectual; imaginative, innovative, and unique; critical, analytical, and logical; intellectually curious, driven to learn and increase their competence and knowledge; socially cautious and reserved; organized and definitive.

The most important thing to INTJs is their independence and being able to live according to their own standards.

12.30am

2008-05-08T01:17:00.003+08:00

I can't really remember since when have i slept before 12.30am... Heh... actually i doubt. i even sleep before 12 midnight over the past maybe half year at least....

Cousin sis tell me that i have to pao yang.. hm....

I will try to sleep early...

Ken's not around this weekend..
I'm done with FYP tml...
PR course is also over an done with...
Most of my student's exams are also over... so...

I hope i really can sleep early... i really do...
Very tired already...
Ken is also very tired... haha.....

Poor fellow.. help me with so many things all these while....

Sleep early!!!!!!! I need rest!!!!

04/05/08

2008-05-04T22:58:00.002+08:00

This is my nick... and i'm about to change it.. cos.. i might be learning piano soon....

Ah!! the thought of "teacher" scares me...
That makes me wonder...
Does my students also feel the same???

MSN NICK ARCHIVE:
"家韵: 温柔的云朵高高挂，沉默的海洋静如画。。。

What kinda family is this... 有福我们享,有难你和我们一起担..."

the latter one.. refers to... heh... u know... i know.. can liao... no need to spell out..

My holiday trip to China... really holiday... heh...

2008-05-01T01:21:00.002+08:00

This is what i'm going China for...

I'm not ask to prepare anything... but i'm going there to enjoy the atmosphere... also to visit my father...

Interestingly... Tong Kuan is going too.. hahahha...

Why am i not Rich...

2008-04-28T10:19:00.001+08:00

This post was actually part of another post, but i thought why not just extract it out... and put it as a seperate one, since this is so long too...

So.. just to explain why i'm not rich... and that i'm actually quite broke...

People tend to think that i'm very rich because i have been so hardworking, teaching tuitions... But this is a job that doesn't give any passive income, so, i work, i earn, i don't work, i don't earn. In good times, i can earn up to 4k a month, but often is that. And if that 4k were to come, i assure u that the months following that 4k-month, will be about 1-2.5 months of... less than $500... And most of the time in a year, tuition goes on for an average of about 7.5 months each year, taking into account, the non-examination period, school holiday, misc. holidays and student sick, i sick, unable to fix a time for lesson due to other unforeseen changes/ events. Being a student+ Part time student as well, i do have limited time for tuition.

Giving myself an income of 2K each month(for 7.5 months= 15k) from tuition, and spreading them over an entire year, i draw an average of salary = 1.25K each month.

This amount have to cover for all my food and expenses over the month, cos i haven't been taking any allowance since 2004? perhaps. There are times when extra money is spent due to gifts... Buying computer and etc. In these 4 years, my few biggest expenses are 1. Fujitsu laptop, 2. Lenovo Computer, 3. Driving lesson (half paid for by my mum), 4. Handphones, 5. Gifts!!

So.. u know why i'm broke now??

What's there for me...

2008-04-28T09:50:00.004+08:00

Alright.. NTU exams is over...
Of my four years in NTU, i've never felt so kancheong after an exam before...

I took a total of 4 examinable module thie semester.
First was Engineers and Society. This module concentrate on principle/ Moral/ Ethics and politics in Singapore.
I have a boyfriend who graduated from NUS. And from all the comments that he made, ober times when he sees me studying and doing my assignments. It has always been... " NUS don't have this...", " Your content seems good hor... Like very interesting..."

I'm very glad that i've chosen NTU (Not Too Useful) over NUS (Not Useful Still)...

My school life is almost over, 1+ more week to go. Get over and done with my FYP presentation and.... I'll be a free lady... Free from studying...

Firstly, i would like to express my regret, for not studying hard enough in NTU...

I had always thought that.. i won't excel, not in most of the things i do. Not because i don't try hard enough. But i have belief that there is a cap for what each individual can perform. And... I sorta know where my cap is, and that's also the point in which i should stop putting in extra effort in hope to make things happen... Because that's what we call in Economics - Diminishing Returns...
Have returns, but not worth the effort kinda thing.

I spent a lot of my time in University, doing other things... things other than studying, joining clubs and researching... haha...

Rather i spent most of my time teaching tuition, learning other things...

In year 1/2 i attempted joining some clubs in sch, but my ex tend to always stop me, and hinder everything i do. All because he come from a scholar family with a family line of generals and scholars; they take deep consideration into studies. And one thing he said that is quite true is " U are here in Uni to study... What? XXX club can get u ur jobs meh?"

Which i think what he says does make sense.
Ken was an active individual in uni, but his results weren't that great. And of course if he could turn back time, he would have spent more time into studying and not wooing girls(me) that perhaps could/could not have been the cause for failing a final semester module.

Back to the topic about MY studies..
Tonight is my final module exam for PR, and my graduation assignment is due on 5th May, in partial fulfillment of a Diploma in PR and Mass Communication. Well, i would say the handwork is worth it.

So by July, i'm hopefully a Bachelor (Hon) grad in Bioenginner and a Diploma Grad in PR and Mass Comm. I might have felt tired, too many times this year. But i didn't break down and cry, but just floating through the whole year...

I'm rather amaze by the number of modules i took in my entire time in NTU.. haha.. i just make a counting... and it's 55!!! modules in all... Wow!! that has to be rather amazing... Supposedly this is almost the highest number of modules students should be taking. Reason being, I'm from NTU, and NTU student do take more modules than NUS, Secondly, i'm from Bioengineering, so even within NTU itself, the number of modules is crazy!! Thirdly, i took a minor! so it's extra few modules... Hah!

Okok... will post smth later.. now gtg rush out.. tuition.. so that i can earn my diving lesson fees... Update more tonight....

The devil wears a prada!

2008-04-22T16:25:00.003+08:00

I can be a doctor... but i can own a doctor bag!! Tada everyone!!! this is my new bag... the Doctor bag from Prada.. i have this leather tag thing... can u give me idea what i can put there?

Hm.. need something a little classy.. and... a little bit of this.. and a little bit of that...

Poor poor ken.. have to buy this for me.. heh... thanks!!! *mucks!*

anyway... the Detail is really very good... better than some of those branded stuffs around...
The leather smell good.. the dust bag is soft... think can just put a pillow and use the dust bag as a pillow case....
the inside of the bag is real good...
Why Prada as oppose to others?

Because.. i find some brands too... too.. publicised!! and too well like by too many people.. then it feels a little too ordinary...

I will get those brands soon.. sometime.. but just not now... i love this start of the branded spree with a Prada... Because I am a devil! So i wear a Prada! haha!!

The way the bag opens... is.. wow.. good... i like the style...
Even the bottom of the bag.. there is this 4 metal thing that let's it stand.. PRADA is engraved on it...
this is quality...

I like the nylon thing.. just for Prada. Makes Prada more special... But i can't deny that.. Prada has ugly bags as well.. opps....

Haha... well.. i'm glad.. happy for now...

Will have to study in a while... 24 hour to next paper... and... hm... not studied anything till now...

will soon be planning the Bali trip soon... will go scuba diving n etc... $ will be flying out of my pocket...

Hoping for the confirmation of my position as a research and stock analyst~!!!!

And... will plan for the ShenZhen trip as well.. heh. going with NTU prof... for a conference.. feels good...

22 April 2008

2008-04-22T01:09:00.002+08:00

Just a little note...
What i have from now.. till.......... Maybe when i start work!!

23rd April = Financial Institution exam
25th April = Nano technology
28th April = PR FINAL module exams + Assignment due dates
5th May = PR Graduation project due
8th May = FYP Poster presentation hm...

Once over...
Assuming everything pass!
And.. i'm an official Bachelorette!!
Heh... Bachelor in BioEngineering (Hon.) & Diploma graduate in PR and Mass Communication!!!

This year... is a tough year for me...
Having gone through a lot of shit with Ken...
Things are really seemingly getting a lot better...
Over the past whole year... There were many mood swings were i was often upset and aimless, especially in those holiday times...
Not knowing what to do...

It's like... i'm reaching a cross road... A junction that... the turn i take more of less decide, and also path out my future...

thoughts like... 'what i wanna do in the future?' often make me feel angry because i'm basically a jack of all trades and a master of none! There seems to be nothing i'm really very passionate about.

In my younger days when choosing for secondary sch, JC and even Uni course... I often had to stand at a junction, struggle... Think through and cry and wail and be so upset... just trying to squeeze out an answer- an answer of what do i want.. what do i like?

Many people who are smart are given the talent and priviledge to pursue something that they like... or just that something that they are good at... People who may not be that lucky, they are driven by the need for money and they work hard and ultimately reaching somewhere... Some people who are not as lucky... Will be satisfied with the things that is offered to them... A route that is paved for them...

But i felt unlucky.. because I'm not too lousy... yet.. i'm not good enough in many aspect that I've learnt... Like in Music, i have a grade 8, and may complete my diploma. But i have no talent it in.. like.. a friend, Zixiang... he was the top MEP student in Dunman, just looking at him play the keyboard, piano is enough to memorizes many girls...

I don't have passion like Lynn, who gave up her Cambridge law scholarship just to study medicine in Singapore....

I'm just a simple girl... no talent... not good enough...

Now i'm at the cross road again... But this time.. this decision is really a major one... what to choose.. where to go... what to do...

I've somehow decided....
Not that i have already been offered... but these choices were diversified enough for me to think through what kinda life style.. standards and what i really, or... rather.. not say really.. but.. to eliminate what i do not want... heh...

#1. A 18 mth research and stock analyst leading on to a trading job.

#2. A teaching associate in a polytechnic
#3. Financial Advisor
#4. Funding Manager with A*Star Biomedical Council
#5. Biomedical Sales Rep

Well, i chosen #1! heh... I see that it can give me the best prospect...
Hm... feeling nausea now... shall rest.. will come back soon.. for more....

It's really haunting... they are werid... crazy!

2008-04-10T19:46:00.002+08:00

Ken kept asking me last night... "how are they affecting u..."

I replied to him many times.. that the thought of them are enough to make me feel paranoid...
And if given a choice i don't even wanna acknowledge them as my parent-in-law...

this might not sound right... but ur mum's stuffs is making me go berserk!!!

I had a dream that my mum is going to suffer from dementia... and i told her.. i need to get her some medication... and she asked if it's really necessary....

I said to her.. YES YES YES YES YES!!! in a very frantic manner.... And... I said to her. That if she doesn't eat her medicine.. she will go crazy.. And.. she'll be like Ken's mother.... She's Crazy!! It's very irritating and it's very mentally draining....

Now i wake up feeling so tensed up... my heart is still beating so fast... And i find it difficult to concentrate on my exams...

Please... leave ur mother away from me... I really can't take it...

I feel so paranoid.. i feel so... like.. mentally tortured... and i feel so... i can't describe... but.. it's really somthing that.. is haunting... the way they behave, his mum, his dad... All.. they things that they do, the lives that they seems to be destroying.. me, ken, J, Serene... is that all??

I really starting to hate them more each day...
And... they are really like ghost... haunting me... even in my dreams....

Welcome to the family....

2008-03-23T01:07:00.001+08:00

This is my one post.. after so long so long...
I remember the times when i was in HIHS...
And on the very first day of school...
The school bell for morning assembly just sound so different.. so soothing...

And it's this song u can here on this page right now...

I sent to all my friends from HIHS....
So that we can all get that nostalgic feeling...
Denise felt so sad suddenly.. that we are all so far away from the time when we were carefree... enjoying and loving each other's company...

I'm almost having tears....

Enjoy.. for now.. nothing much to talk about.. i wanna indulge in the song...

My moocha is so man!!!

2007-11-30T17:09:00.000+08:00

QUEK's bday...

2007-11-18T16:28:00.000+08:00

Alvin-Bang's birthday!

2007-11-18T16:27:00.000+08:00

0.5 million

2007-10-29T09:53:00.000+08:00

Urm... what business would u do if u have 0.5 million?
Just a question... can my friends email me... or talk to me on MSN about this?!

Some recent pictures....

2007-08-25T15:36:00.000+08:00

These are some of the recent pictures i have... haha.. quite a lot of the duck.. quek... only 1 of Ken... check it out....

Myself...

I love this gf.. of mine.. always make my pictures... look more sexy and beautiful...

That stombay ken... don't know how many picture must we take.. before he can give a decent smile...

They are Ah Bang's friend....

Quek and Bang....

The bling bling thingy on top.. very nice hor...

Finally... all in all...

avg target = consistent?

2007-08-22T23:58:00.000+08:00

I was taking to this ex colleague on msn just now... then there was this issue about target cycle time....

His stand is that... only robot can do that...
Only robots can achieve say... consistency is cycle time of e.g. 3.5 hr....

So... i told him that... the figure given was with consideration of leeway given...
Say... knowing that there may be issues n etc cropped up hence giving a 85% to efficiency for ideal timing of 2.975 hr, we announce the target to be at 3.5hr instead....

Hence... to support my stand.. i gave an example... and i think this is VERY classic... and... feels so shiok to post it here... hehe... so here it goes....

"one rxt being 3h another being 4h still average out to be 3.5h

where is the consistency in there?

it's an average..

not a definite..

Say u take:
+1 -1 -1 -1 -1 +1 +1 +1 +2 +2 -1.5 -1.5 -1

it's still =0!

see! avergae right!

where got consistency?"

And after this.. he went offline... heh... *opps...

生病了。。。

2007-08-03T00:08:00.001+08:00

I'm sick....

My favourite chinese quote

2007-07-30T10:26:00.000+08:00

BioE is well known to be a very tough course with exceptional many modules per semester... So there was once.. i was studying for exams. My friend and i were all thinking... how carefree the people in other courses are, esp those in Biz.

Complain... Upset, and demoralised.... then there's this girl who studies chinese Lit.

She said:

天将降大任于斯人也，
必先苦其心志劳其筋骨饿其体肤
空乏其身行拂乱起其所为
是以动心忍性增盆其所不能。

Meaning to say....
Heaven is about to bestow on u a great task...
Hence... it's now that he's training you through all these hardship...
Making you hungry so you can tolerate the upcoming physical pain,
Make you tired to endure the mental torture...
Because it's only through these experiences... that you can then conquer everything!

Career? Family?

2007-07-22T14:20:00.000+08:00

Which should be on the top of a man's priority?
Career?
or
Family?
If a man doesn't have a good career… Would you even want to have a family with him?
If a man bothers too much about his career… Would there be the existence of a family?
Hm…

Spectie Duckie

2007-07-15T14:03:00.000+08:00

This picture is so nice...

A Compilation of our new specs with Ken's favourite Duckie off all the toys i left at his place...
There's Ee-yore... Maribell... Sunshine Duckie... And.. few others.. but i do really think Duckie is super cute!!!

Haha.. and Ken claims it looks like him.. have just that few strands of hair.. and a BIG head!
muahahahaha...

Heh... nice? my Oakley... and His Hugo Boss... heh...

The big investment of the year... just on our eyewear....
*bliss*

Ken's Convo...

2007-07-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hm... Today is Ken's Convocation!!! Yeah! Congrats babe...

Feel soo... sooo.. Happy for him..

Hm...... he looks better without that furnie cute hat!

But i love that hate... and I think he looks cute in that gown....

Was in UCC today... The whole place was filled with Adult HARRY PORTER! hahaha...
So furnie.. so cute...

It's like a local Hogwarts...
Just in time for the new Harry Potter... heh...

See the Sunflowers... Got it from a online store call.. think it's... Blossom n Leaves...
Very very nice flowers...

Didn't even get such nice sunflowers from anyone before... hm....

But anyway.. This might be the one and only chance i can give flowers to KEn... so.. i make it a big big bouquet... heh...
And... it's so nice and bright... Matches his gown...

See... My cute Ken in Wizardy gown... heh..

Took quite a number of pictures today... but will show just those of me n him... heh...

I just love that Hat!

His dad was suggesting that.. i can wear his brother's gown.. and take a photo with him...
But i thought.. no.. shouldn't do that...
It'll only feel great if it's my own!
So i shall wait for next year...

Yeah!!!! My turn soon...
Expect very very very big flowers from Ken.... hm...

Hm...

Cuties...

2007-07-09T23:32:00.000+08:00

All my lovely cuties....

512...

2007-07-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

This is taken on 512...
12th May... Nice hor...

Limster

2007-07-09T23:18:00.000+08:00

This is my family... These are my friends.... We are Singapore.... Singaporean...

Most recent photo

2007-07-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

This is the most recent photo of me n Ken...
Yucks.. he just piss me off wth his nonsense... urgh...

But will still post this...

Taken at Shangri-la... attend some wedding... on the 070707...

My so cute Hello KITTY

2007-07-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

My nice cute... interesting WATER DISPENSER! Can hold 8 cups of water.. so just finish one KITTY a day.. and it'll be great!!!

One bad point: Dispense very slow.. can get fed up sia!
Look at all the cuties i got today....... argh... all so nice.. heh.. DISNEY-UNO... stickers... correction tape.. and note book..

So long haven't seen these stickers liao.. remember use to buy them in pri sch... use as earrings.. heh...

Then the pencil... those where u have many sections... with hte nice sharp lead...
Then when it becomes blunt... u can pull it off.. move it to the back.. and the new sharp one.. comes out... cute right.. Don't u just miss those times... Aww~~~~

2007-07-03T16:29:00.000+08:00

ASPIRE to INSPIRE...

before u EXPIRE...

My bf's blog...

2007-06-19T10:23:00.000+08:00

Hm.. Ken has a blog.. and unless u are interested in Contra... in stocks... don't even bother about going to the link... heh.. i'll be posting it on the ilnk side...

I know i've been missing.. but much has been going on in my life...

I wuold say.. i'm well loved... heh =)

See u all soon.. when i'm on leave.. or.. when i'm more free..

Work is killing me...

I love my Canon IXUS!!!

2007-06-02T00:48:00.000+08:00

Hey hey... this is the best Gadget i own man!!

I love it!!! yeah!!!!!

2007-04-29T20:39:00.001+08:00

Click on it.. to view some old pictures!!

This is of some friends....

This is of My Pageant.. in Hall #13!!

Hall 13... though.. not so fun.. but it's the best hall i've been to!! yeah!

FOC #13

More of my hall photos... such fun we were having!! yeah!

Friday 13.. late...

2007-04-22T21:39:00.000+08:00

My friday 13th came a little too late... i mean.. 1 week later...

My 20th April was crazy! i had a whole day of shit that day...

Before i start off.. let me have some shortcut for introduction of the big bosses and sup that i'm working for...

So.. in our hierachy... I report to KK, who reports to Hong, Eric also reports to Hong and Kong, and Kong also reports to Hong...

Ok.. it started of with work at 8am...
When i first reach work... i got an email from Hong which was cc to all, me, eric, kong and kk. In it.. it pointed out a mistake that i've made...

This mistake could have been prevented from reaching him.. if... eric had amended it.. but before that.. it wouldn't reach Eric, if KK had given a review... But then it voice down to me.. not having done it correctly...

So.. then.. when KK arrived at office.. i pointed out to him that i'd this mistake and i do know waht's going on.. and what's wrong and what needs to be amended...
Then... he asked if i did reply to Hong, which i didn't.. so he did the explanation... and i did the amendments...

I felt bad about it.. since it was my mistake that i didn't correct it very first hand.. so.. when i went into the plant, i decided to write an apology...

that mail was sent out.. Hong was not at his desk.. so was Kong and Eric was on leave... Only KK saw the email.. and he replied with "actually nor entirely ur fault... and etc..."

And he IM me.. asking me not to take the blame next time..

So i said sorry to him... then he told me that he has got more things that he'd want me to do..

NExt... i went for the walk through. the usual procedures which the IPT team had to go thru every morning... And so.. yeap.. during the walkthrough... lean metrics review, Hong know that i look sianz... which is not the usual self... And KK had knocked a wooden file on my hand.. and *ouch*

Then... i felt so paiseh that i had gone pass the hierachy and apologise to people... But i felt sincere about the apology..., that i wasn't vigilant enough when doing work.. so i apologise la...

then... came afternoon.. some data that i entered was wrong.. but it was a whole lot of complicated shit.. cos.. everytime i do it.. i have doubts... and whenever i'm doubtful.. i'll need to ask someone.. and my previous direct sup.. HL, was always not around... and so is KK.. i'm always left alone.. by myself.. so sickening.. then i had no one to ask.. question.. and i have to leave my stuffs aside.. half done.. and to get back to those things... trying to remember things that i couldn't get done again...

Then... i was so stressed up in the afternoon.. cos Kk was trying to teach me.. brief me stuffs... just that his character is those that speaks quickly.. gets stressed up too.. and being a senior IE.... he's very careful and detailed unlike me...

Then... as i was changing the stuffs in that folder.. i realise that there's only 'read only' access. that i was having... So.. i had to wait for KK to clsoe the file first..

But i decided that i should just save a copy and do other things.. and as i closed it.. i realise ti need to change something else... so.. i clicked onto the shortcut that i have on my desk top... and... " cannot locate..... file... etc.." I had straight adrenaline rush in my brain!!

I decided to start my search.. after i couldn't fine it.. i went to HL for help.. when she first learn the problem... she was dumbstrucked ... then she said... " if this information is gone.. it's a very serious problem..."

I told her to search for the file.. and it was in another folder... she asked if i had moved it... i thought a while.. and i decided that i don't even have access tot that folder.. but anyway.. she moved it back...

I was so flustered and stressed up. i decided to walk to the pantry to get myself a water...

As it was dispensing the hot water.. i got distracted.. and i scalded my fingers... so i decided to run it under the tap...

The HR secretary(as usual the KPO people) can into the pantry... and saw what happened... And told me to look for Mary.. the co nurse... which i thought it's not necessary...

i decided to go back to my desk later.. but it gets stinging and hurt later... so i decided to have a walk to the nurse...

Things continue to get stressful as time passes by... Hm... only at the end of it.. my big boss wrote nice emails to help encourage and stuffs... and KK treat me to HERSHEY!

The finale of whatever happened was u had a fall that hurt my knee so bad!! argh...
And that i pissed my friends off.. because i had a heart pull.. and it wasn't the first time they saw me having it.. and wanted me to see a doctor.. yet i made a joke out of it... yeap... so.. that's my Friday the 13 came too late!!!!

MY lovely blade!

2007-04-21T01:31:00.000+08:00

This is my lovely blade.. bought at $320!

It's fast! and it's lovely.. and it's cool...

Now i shall join my Blading Khakis more often!! yeah yeah! yeah!!!!

Who wanna blade? lai lai.. i always on.. as long as i'm free!!! i wanna be a blading fanatic!

I wanna learn all those turns.. and swirls!! Chris, Hew hew??? heh...

2007-04-09T09:43:00.000+08:00

Hello.. very long time no see u peeps...

I haven't been updating for a long long time...

I have alot of things that i would like to post them on.. but i feel so restricted... Cos i have of secrets!! SSSHhhhhhhsss....

Hm.. will tell u peeps when i see u all individually.... else.. u'd have known a lot about me by now..

Now i'm in office.. so.. update again when I'm a little more free... hm...

Now.. i shall show u all the pictures which i took from my free make over first...

These are all un-edited! no editing done AT ALL!!!... Untill Ken helps me do a little touch up of them.. yeap?!
My make over is done by The Make over Inc. At madarin there... it's free complimentary of Metro. All i had to do is to pay for the photos... hm...

I didn't even print them out hard copy... Decided to take the CD instead.. then let Ken do the photoshop of it... and have it enlarge (because to protect their fees and blah blah.. they restricted my pic to 5R) them using his FYP "Kscale!" wow.. great thing!! heh..

So.. here they are... I think they look not bad.. quite like...

This is my favourite picture! wow.. i like this pose and this style...
Not too cheery... not too happy.. but look bliss *though i'm not really feeling so right now.. *

This one.. i also like very much... Though i look fat.. but there's a even fatter one.. later u'll see...

Actually i think the pictures are made really nice by the Jacket... It's only $19!! heh...

This is the FATTEST Looking picture... Terrible.. still comtemplating whether to ask Ken to make me slimmer?!!! Hm...

This one is a bit of a lot of Pattern..hahaha... not very me... But i like...

Hm.. and the very final last one...
I think this is not like very seductive or sexy.. but instead.. look like.. act innocent... I'm wearing a tube... but just that can't see.. then again.. it's because u can't see the tube.. that's why it's nice... hm.. Heh...

Well.. that's all for now... shall do more upadtes of the history later... with pictures.. about my life.. about the people in my life.. about the things that i do... and also... the cruise.. and yeah!!

I'm so envious...

2007-03-18T10:40:00.000+08:00

I know i've been missing from blogspot.. since.. 31st January...

I've been working... and doign my own stuffs... hm...

There are so many happy gfs around recently... They are basking in enjoyment... love... and pamper of their beloved boyfriends...

Wendy jie jie is getting married on 12th May..
congrats.. and yeay! i get to be the Jie Mei!! hahaha...

Saw Chris Hew (orange) the other day... and i saw how happy and attached to her boyfriend.. i felt glad for her...

Then was Fernie... it was surprising that she posed the question:" aye, what if i get married next year... would u all be surprise?"
For this girl... i will be surprise... and happy for her...

I always wanted to get married young... but i think it is rather impossible ever since i broke up with CK... that kinda only love and nothing else's feeling is no longer within me...

I've become a so much more practical girl.. with all those people hang around me...
Seeing people, a new girl whom i met some time ago... Joelle... that she's now with her bf.. for more than 10 years... and yet... they are still not married...

Dave, a colleague whom i know of... broke up with his ex gf... just before the application of HDB...

It's so sad...

Then Ken now has no faith in marriage... no faith in relationship... Hm...

I have doubts in him.. because we seem to be always in conflict when communication...
I have no longer interest in going dating with Ken... because all the time that we met... We seem to be always in deep thoughts... deep analysis... thinking about many issues... money issues and stuffs...

Don't feel happy around... More of content... love... and satisfaction...
It's no longer... pampered.. 'in love' and dating...

Why is it so?
hm.... argh....

I'm unhappy... all these while.. but what can i do?

I'm in love.. yet i'm not in love...
I'm attached.. yet i'm not attached...
I'm happy.. yet i'm not happy...

WTF! life sucks!!!

Ken's Gift..

2007-01-27T19:44:00.000+08:00

I've given Ken his birthday and valentine's Gift...

It's not his birthday yet.. but i saw smoething which i thought he will like.. and that i like very much too.. so i decided to buy for him..

BIG APOLOGY to him for not giving him anymore surprises... for tthe last xmas present and this time round.. all the present..

i got him an ESPRIT Jacket cost >> $100... heh.. and a nice deco item..

if got chance take photo to show u all.. cos i pass him liao..
I thought after spending so much $$ on the jacket if in the end it doesn't suit him.. i die.. so i decided to show him and let him try it out yesterday.. GREAT he fits well!!

SO.. it's his! The ESPRIT gift box is super nice la..

I labal esprit as my fav place to buy things.. since i always like to buy bag and their bags are not that ex.. plus... Ken this kinda niao man is ok with the jacket that i bought.. means.. it's suitable.. so.. expect me to shop at Exprit more often!! haha..

now.. so broke.. after spending $$ there... hm..

Will show u all what i bought.... hm.. then again.. maybe i have another surprise for him... we shall wait and see... heh..

urm... resolution?!

2007-01-24T15:46:00.000+08:00

Ok... i should set some target and aim for myself...
I need to lose weight.. so i aim not to be too concern about weight... but trying to slim down by another way...
i should...not eat dinner anymore!eat only breakfast and tea- this will cost me only about $1 everyday... provided i have no work to do during the tea break timego gym and swimming every week. Most desirable will be weekends and 1 weekday- this 8-5 job is feeding into my butt!This plan will help me to SAVE UP! SLIM DOWN! and PERK UP in health!
Anyway...
i realise that i have too many clothes... so i should not think about buying anymore clothes.. if only i can slim down... hm.. i will have 2/3/4 times as many clothes to wear as compared to now!
Let us all be hopeful... for me.. and for a better place!

Some photos i got together...

2007-01-24T11:30:00.000+08:00

These are some photos i got together during my nua time at work....

Many are repeated.. but.. i wanted them to be all within one page.. so here they are...

dedicated to Ken

2007-01-22T14:47:00.000+08:00

For all the times he put up with my tantrum... my temper... my ignorance.. my naive actions and words...

For all those moments when i was absurb... ridiculous... petty... obnoxious... outrageous.. unreasonable... and jealous...

I dedecate this entry to my one and only Ken...

With some sweet poems...

If I could have just one wish,

I would wish to wake up everydayto the sound of your breath on my neck,

the warmth of your lips on my cheek,

the touch of your fingers on my skin,

and the feel of your heart beating with mine...

Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you.

a quote...

There is only one happiness in life,

to love and be loved.

and... our lovely picture....

I think i'm loving Ken more and more each day..

I'm happy to annouce that as day passes by... i give ken lesser and lesser shit each day...
but the downside of it.. He's giving me SHIT!!! wah lao!
haha...

Star Cruise 2007

2007-01-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

This is my time on a cruise... With quek, Joeven and Ken...
This is also my first time into a Casino!! yeah!! yeah!! yeah!!

So here are the photos in the cruise.. let me describe to you what i see and what is happening with the pictures...

This is the small but cosy cabin!

MY own solo picture. If you look carefully, u can see Ken in the reflection.

My darling Quek and me!

This is port Klang, the stop over at KL!

Before goign on cruise they give free shots which later they'll print it out then ask u to purchase it... I think it's a very stupid idea. They do that.. then they print them all out.. then most people won't buy lor... I mean a photo is so cheap might as well just give it out... It's the service that counts ma...

We decided not to buy them.. but then print them out!

Taken in the toilet.. to show u how fat i am... BUT i'm fatter now!!!

This is taken during the 1st morning breakfast time!
i think this photo is so cool! so nice!!!

MY solo with the wind...

2nd morning.. there are no sunrise because of the clouds...

Our entertainment... Jenga on the 2nd night there...
We also played Uno...

Final day, on the day that we are going home.

Jumble up... haha.. this is on the 2nd day, we are playing 'The Game of LIFE'
Shilin got the more children... As though it's like our real life... me n Ken are poor.
The rich people are Shilin and Joeven.. *sighs*

Last morning with Ken... that quek and Joeven didn't wake up to see the dunrise.. then again.. also no sun to see la...

On the same day as the breakfast day.. haha... Poseur!

My breakfast morning again.. i just love all these shots.. the sun is great.. and the wind is superb!!! i love it!

Ken la...

Me and Ken la.... lai.. breakfast lai!!!

To view all the photo.... Click on KEN!

Star cruise 2007

love-hate

2007-01-13T10:06:00.000+08:00

Wah lao.. Again yesterday night.. Buay tahan la.. Very cham leh this r/s…
So love… hate!!!

unhappiness again...

2007-01-09T21:39:00.000+08:00

Tonight I had some conflict with Ken again.. Well well.. What's new? It happens all the time.. This time.. It's about his smoking…

I don't like him to smoke.. I don't want him to smoke.. And I'm an extremist… When I can't tolerate anything… I can't.. So.. After some unhappiness, he sent me this msg… " I love you babe… Pls, make it easier for me, cuz I've been trying hard too.. In many situations where I'm at hundred and you at zero…(let's not talk about what's right or wrong) I already give in till twenty for you… But you still unhappy about it… Why can't u move to eighty for me? Dun push things too hard…"

Well, for your information.. The issue about smoking had been going on for the past 3 months I suppose.. And everytime it ended up an issue that is resolved late in the night and losing sleep… He tells me that he will not smoke again.. But then once and again he did… I admit that I'm too strong headed and I just want him to stop smoking.. But I feel that I should do so.. It's not about feeling or what… or being very 'ren xing' but rather sometimes.. Fact are just facts and promises are meant to be kept… And with him breaking promises once and again, it hurt me.. And make me disappointed… then I got unhappy.. He'll then tell me not to be unhappy… and I'll question why ask me to not be unhappy when he's the one who do it first…

He says he find joy in smoking… and asked me to talk to my dad and ask him why can't he quit.. Then I questioned him back and ask him why not ask his dad why he quitted smoking…

Anyway, shortly after his msg, I replied him with this…

" If I'm in the wrong I have nothing to say and if that's the situation, I'm a bitch if I don't give u a hundred. But considering our age gap and lifestyle… I want you to live long and well… Many times, it's not the doing of the action… But the temptation n actions of what a man u are made up of that makes me upset… U upset me by taking the first step to a continuation on the very first day of work *because he say.. It's the first day.. His colleague ask so he smoked.. Damn rubbish!!* N giving a reason for your doin.N hence reasons to follow up… U know it deep in you that it need not be done… U really hurt me.. U made me beseech u but to no avail… U gave me a solid promise then made it vanish… U wasted my tears when I want nothing else but goodness for you… But once and again, u do it for a moment of happiness… I do not give u 80 because u are capable of more than a thousand… So why should I encourage your belittling of oneself? "

Anyway.. We somehow got things solved last night… with the driving issue… Not that I don't like him to drive.. But he don't drive well… and he had an accident.. And my purpose is not to stop him from driving.. But to curb that ego of his that always feels he's a great man.. And can always do things so well.. I hate ego man.. Heh...

VS collection!

2007-01-02T15:35:00.000+08:00

Heh... all thanks to muy darling Quek.. she came back from the states with my VS clothes... I've became fatter all thanks to Ken... and was all depressed and upset because of the increase in size.. but now.. i'm a happy girl.. with my new VS clothes.. all 19, including a few from Forever21. WOW! they all fit.. and here they are.. i present to u.. my VS collection!!!

First the office wear... in all i have 5 shirts...

This is the close up of the 5 designs of my shirts!

I look fat in this.. and in the beginning i was shy.. so...

This pink one is very nice... the design is a little tranlucent and stripped.

a bit of act cool because more fun liao...

i like it when my hair's up!

This is the more naughty one.. haha... it's all the Boyfriend shirt!
So... this photo looks more naughty! and.. it's suppose to be loose fit...

Then i have my dressy tops... some from Forever 21!

This one looks a little dull and not very nice.. but it's laced!

haha.. i've worn this liao.. satin top from f21.. very nice.. but low cut...

there's many many holes in the top.. haha.. very airy!! but very flowy!

this is from VS.. very sexy in the front one...
hot red! i like!

a very classic black top.. satin also.. with a butterfly design in the front!

this is the butterfly design...

this may look dull and boring. but the cutting makes me looks slim.. the shoulders and chest design is great!!

This is a sweater which shilin keep questioning how i will be wearing it... but wearing it alone is ok leh... anyway.. this top is so nice...

lastly... this Kimono top... This is MY FAVOURITE!!!

i always love flowy tops and big long sleeves.. i think they are nice and special...

My sports wear.. haha.. nice and bright colour!

Now.. time for the dresses!!!

damn i just look so fat here.. but the dress is very nice... the material is great!

i regreted buying it.. then after i wear it.. i think i didn't...

this dress.. Ken choose one! heh.. nice right.. my quek quek also got one.. her's is red!

nice and sophisticated.. black little dress that all char bo should have!!!
This is the design at the waist level and at the end of the dress...

these are teh 2 tops that ken bought.. they cost less than 30buck SGD and the material are superb.. very comfortable and the stitch is special! very artistic!

Mozilla...

2007-01-02T15:33:00.000+08:00

mozilla can't view my blog properly.. i dont' know why.. so if u have.. please use IE!

Essentially me

2007-01-02T15:06:00.000+08:00

heh... i've changed again.. i thought this is nice.. or rather.. ken thought this is nice!!

Somwhere over the rainbow

2006-12-28T23:16:00.000+08:00

okok! off goes the pink colour template!

i don't like it! it's too sweet for me.. so transition is over.. i've already decided to use this template.. i can't find the black one! damn!

Anyway... all the old blogs are still in their pink colour.. unless i have the mood to change it.. else.. u will most likely not be able to view them anymore... And for those photos posted.. i will not resize them as well.. unless i'm super free.... maybe soon la.. depends on mood... so... i think only quek read the last blog.... heh... haiz...

So.. i present to u..

somewhere over the rainbow!!

but the html title is still the same.. i can't bear with it... heh...

Pink is a little too sweet

2006-12-28T01:55:00.000+08:00

i know.. i know.. i know.. this is disaster.. i'll be changing skin.. shit. still love my old one. deleted it by mistake.. soon sooon. it will be.. *pissed*

2nd year anniversary

2006-12-27T00:03:00.000+08:00

I was logging in.. and as far as i could remember, the last time i saw the number of entry in my blog. It was only 141! now it's 220+. WOW! heh... see my failing memory is acting on me...

Anyway... I feel that tonight is a freaky night. I was watching TV, and there was this pilot show that shows every weekday night from 10-11pm at channel U. If u all caught that episode. Yishan was so upset over yunzhi's death that she hallucinated that Yunzhi was around the house. Before that, on my way home, i thought i should take a break from Ken, for many reasons...

There was a direct bus from AMK back hm, but instead the other bus can first and i took it to transfer bus in front of Bowen Secondary School. There was this very big 'death note' that talk about how people will wish to die at hm and that they provided that service. U can check it out at the hospice website. I took a photo of the note and i took time to finish reading the whole passage. I felt soothing after that.

I don't know why, but i felt uneasy after watching the tv show, i didn't get to hear from Ken more about 5 hours. And i don't know why but i got worried... I decided to pop by at his place. As i walked down... along this path that leads to the carpark. I smelt Dunhill man fragrance... The fragrance that my brother has been using and now it became one that Ken is also using. I felt freaked out and especially worried that something might have happened to Ken... I walked fast and got more worried. Reaching his house then i found out that he wasn't home the whole night...

Well, my supposed reason was to take my laptop... and stuffs.. and so i did. As i was picking up my stuffs, his mum came to asked if i needed a bag. So i thought yeah a bag is good and i don't need her to give me some plastic bag cos Ken has some nice paper bags and stuffs in his drawer. And so i decided to take them myself.

I open the drawer and was searching for the bags and i saw this very long transparent container with many stars in it... I remembered once Ken told me what ZX had given him for present and i remember that was one of those. And as much as my memory can afford to store, i remember that he said he had dumped everything from her away. I took up some of the paper bags and i saw more items... and one of it say" 2nd year anniversary". It was the first half of the year that Ken told me ZX wants to meet to pass him things that he had given her as she doesnt' wanna have any memory of them anymore... And Ken once told me that he had thrown them all away...

But why are they still there?

I have no doubts about how nice Ken has been to me.

But that doesn't mean that i can't feel uneasy. And i feel upset and uneasy for some reasons that i cannot express. I feel that i need time alone, time away from him. I think i need time alone to sort out certain thoughts and emotions... I'm not sure if i should ignore his call or just tell him that i need time or just leave things as they are and find time on my own... I shall think about it...

My christmas present this year... From Ken...

2006-12-24T13:11:00.000+08:00

The most admirable part of this christmas present is not the tree itself.. it's his effort in making the tree done...

This tree is decorated with chocolates and candy... mostly from the Ferrero range! There's the mon cheri one.. the one that has the alcohol and a cherry in it!

This man here in the picture below, carried a tree almost as tall as him, across the road to my house! can u imagine his effort... I have to say i'm most touched by this!He always look stupid for me... The "Ken Loves Elena" at Sentosa and all the running for buses... And walking around with bouquet of flowers and big and small bags... He really dotes on me...

So here is my first flower arrangement from him.. The XMAS tree!!!!

This tree looks wonderful when it is dark!

Looks so much better with a good camera!!

Charlize says: I don't have many best friends...

2006-12-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

This is a conversation between me and Charlize... stole from her blog...

Titled: I don't have many best friends...

Elena says:
Any suggestions for my mum's xmas preset?

Charlize. says:
diamonds are the girls' best friend

Elena says:
my mum have many..

Elena says:
haha. she got lots of best friend..

Charlize. says:
-_-

It's winter time!

2006-12-19T17:53:00.000+08:00

It's december! I love year end...

During the year end.. there's the Sales... Christmas... and WINTER!!!!

Singapore's version of Winter!!!

yeah.. weather is great... so good.. so love year end.. my rm feels like aircon room all the time!!! wow!!!
haha.
and it's time to bring out clothes that you normally do not wear the whole year round... so....

Pink x'mas?!?

or White x'mas?!

Recently i'm so into blending drinks.. so here it it.. the home made Ice-blended mocha! with whip toppings and a hersey dark chocolate kiss! with syrup!! yummilicious!!! MUACKS! great!!!

Me, my ken n my creation!

Dream..

2006-12-07T13:10:00.000+08:00

Interesting dream i had.. maybe it due to the constant bluffing that ken does to dominate my bed! He has been saying things like.. i wanna go over to your place and keep u company.. u go bathe.. i put u to bed, then i go hm...

Ended up: He's on my bed, i'm on the floor! urgh!!!

I had an interesting dream.. of a holiday that was not so much of a holiday afterall.. it was an ADVENTURE! I shan't tell anything about the dream cos there's just so much detail to tell off.. it's not a normal dream, the sea that we are sailing on is so different.. with all the geographical description, i think i won't be able to finish till tml... IT was amazing imagination!! wooohoo.... perfect for a new movie.. but i can't write it out.. i can only describe it... anyway.. i dream of my grandmother.. and she can drive.. never in my life have i seen my grandma drive.. but then.. wahaha.. she drove la... heh.. maybe she had learnt driving under my granddad's supervision... heh... or maybe it's cheaper to learn driving and insurance is free.. since everyone is dead!

redefined...

2006-12-05T00:03:00.000+08:00

The way my relationship with Ken has been redefined. And i don't know what's the new definition... How to treat him the usual way? How to be happy again? How does he expect me to talk to him? When Yes! there are things that he did for me and etc. But it always ended up with " That's the way i like to do things... " It's not that that's wrong. there is nothing wrong. But what's the point of talking? When in the end, it's always that?!

An audition...

2006-12-03T21:22:00.000+08:00

This tuesday... i have an audition at the NTU School of Communication and Information aka SCI... heh...

It's a short flim as i was informed and that i'm suppose to act as a sweet baby and that it's a sad story named " Suicide Symphony"... Interesting...

Anyway... why i would have even gotten tat lobang.. cos... I'm suppose to be an UAN artiste.. but since the day i was with them.. i have never gotten a call from them.. and there was this PC show this year.. i met a friend.. He was someone i know of since secondary school from tuition class whom every girl termed as the handsome guy.. he's tall hunky... cos of the CCA he was in.. good looking and was considered our Mrs Cheng's favourite ba... then.. he approached me during the PC show that i was working at... and actually sort of like " spotted " me... so.. he came up to me... I didn't wait for him to talk to me but instead.. i started talking to him first.. at the time when he first walked towards me.. heh.. i said:" u look familiar" then i realise.. " oh u r jackson.. heh.. from Mrs Cheng's tuition" Surprisingly he remembered me too.. and he know that i'm from UAN.. cos just nice.. he wanted to ask me to join UAN...

Now.. long story heh.. and u got nothing out from there... well.. now.. how come i was in UAN... Because i was the hall queen for my hall... and why was i the hall queen.. cos i was so much slimmer 2 years ago.. before the hall camp... and why was i slimmer.. cos i was sick.. and upset during that period of time.. heh... so... thanks to that.. i got the hall queen title.. then again.. apart from that reason.. the more obvious reason is that.. my hall.. girls.. um... u knwo that.. even i can win.. *sigh* not that big an achievement la... okok.. anyway.. me and ken and my mum.. we're on the slimming spree.. heh....

okok... then.. after the queen title.. i was offered the so call contract with UAN where i had to go down one day to have them take my measurements... my booblines... waistline.. which has obviously... increase.... and my weight.. my height.. and blah blah blah... so.... they have my contact.. and i'm going for an audition...

I only hope for them to like my big eyes... though not very very big.. i'll put on some make up on that day... and then.. hope that they will like me... and what else... please do not be too concern with my thighs.. i'll wear long pants that day as well.. and.. way else... hm... i should start picking nice casual clothes for that day... and... hm... should i tell them that i've got brazilian done.. so that perhaps it can increase my chance on getting in?! hm... else.. to let them know that i can endure pain and hardship?!

How to go on from here?!

2006-12-02T10:33:00.000+08:00

Yeah!!! Celebration! it's the end of the exams...

Shit! Damn... I have some issues with Ken, but i do not know how to solve it... shan't say everything out, because people who don't know me.. or choose not to or watever will think that there's nothing wrong with the things that he do... and that will choose to think i may be too superficial or etc... Which i certainly don't need that from others...

I just don't know where to carry on from here with Ken... So what if he treats me well? So what if he pampers me.. I can't move on with him if he cannot make me feel that there are dreams and aspiration that we can head towards to together! I can't move on with him, if in the slightly, simplest things that he do i can't feel secure about it.

Ah... please help me... In different aspect of treatment, he is super good to me.. a super good boyfriend who's always there patiently listening to me... He always says he's mesmorise with me.. head over heels and stuffs... So is that why he's always good patiently good to me?!

I used to have more faith in relationships... then till after CK, came Ken and i realise that to maintain relationship is very difficult.. especially when u have to learn to be nice... I think my hormones may be fluctuating again to the level of "i love no one and i'm fine with it" again...

Time with Ken wasn't easy and the time when i start being nice to him came crap from him... His personality sometimes make me realise why his ex, zhixian can't feel secure... then again, sometimes i wonder how can one doesn't feel secure with Ken...

She broke up with him and i thought it's a good choice, since she doesn't feel good with him anymore... I thought relationships that has turned sour is no use having repair... People nowadays don't have that strong enough faith to carry on...

I don't have faith.. so the way i treat Ken sometimes sucks.. and i apologise about it...

I like the Ken whom i always hold up high.. whom i always thought he's superior.. smarter, more capable and more handsomer....

Then i realise that men... not jsut him.. i'm talking with regards to most men that i've been around with and stuffs.. and these MEn.. or rather almost most men... are terrible creatures! They think they are so damn smart... and so damn capable.. and so damn handsome.. which in due time.. u will then realise that they are not that good afterall.. hm... so sad right.......

I want to go away... and that's what i wanted to do since years back... but Ken doesn't think he can.. and wants me to hold it for 10 years! he has the life that he wanna lead.. but so do i.. How do we compromise and how to hold back? Life is very different for us definitely since we are 2 different individuals... we have different views and hence when we want things we want it differently. More so with the different way of upbringing... argh.. Shit!

My tarot

2006-11-30T13:47:00.000+08:00

My exams is 3 hours away.. and i'm doing this.. wth...

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

in an attempt to get what i want.

2006-11-30T13:04:00.000+08:00

I think perhaps.. i sound very heartless.. but i have a strong desiree a big want to be shifted somewhere overseas.. so much so that i'm planning for my 2nd job search to be in some place.. and that.. i'm starting to do research! heh...

Told ken that i wanna do so.. and.. i told him if he doesn't plan to do so.. sooner or later, *perhap* and perhaps.. i may plan to leave him... It is indeed love and something that i want for a life time.. i think... that love for a lifetime thing is more important to me.. who ask me to have in mind that.. no one is indispensible.... since.. years back.. yeah yeah yeah. break up hurts.. and they hurt.. they did hurt and they will still hurt.. but that kinda life that i want is so luring.. and so tempting... i won't be surprise that i will be relocated in years to come.. and i know i can't make it happen.. it's just not me.. but then.. if that task is entrusted to someone like ken.. he'll get it done... so i can't wait to have him agree with me! haiz...

Show u some stuffs that i do...

Check out this website!!

http://biz.yahoo.com/special/pf112806_article1.html

-----

2006-11-28T21:38:00.000+08:00

I must say.. Ken is a superb man.... He is so wonderful.. that whichever girl.. i dislike.. *zap* off his phone list... Well, not that he's really doing it for me.. but he is doing it for me.. and himself.. cos.. he can't be bothered who's in who's not in the list.. or rather.. for some people...

This girl which he zapped off.. a JC friend of mine... she was in the same class as him last semester.. u know.. in uni.. everybody takes messed up modules.. hence... during last sem.. my much more handsome Ken (then was the much much prettier elena too!) was taking some general electives.. and that.. he got to know some girls.. out of which... 3/4 of them were my JC and sec sch classmates...

And then.. 1 month ago, when i was in NUS waiting for Ken. This same girl.. walked pass me, she asked what i'm doing there.. and i said: "waiting for Ken." And !#%^&*%$#@#$%^, she can point to me the exact direction that Ken is working in.. all thanks to bloody ken who often like to send mass emailing and smsing to people.. going like this" Yo, how are u doing? I'm***** and... what about u?"

WTF.. he seriously got big problem in my opinion... or at least.. the least he can do is to scan and filter off.. some contacts... like... u know... men=low frequency, women=high frequency(since high f stuffs irritate people) or u can classify in other ways..

Pass them through the passive low pass filter!!!! heh.. my electronics geek stuff from today's exam...

Ok.. lame!

Oh.. to make clear.. it's obvious that that girl is interested in him.. else. i'm too paranoid.. cos she has TTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOO much free time... She can remind him when it's time to watch apprentice... and that chang jiang show on wed n thurs!!!! shit right.... who will do that. i don't even do that for my much BLINDLY and STUPIDLY loved ck... F*** right...

Sometimes i feeel so fortunate... Unlike my other girlfriends and last time.. when i have to deal with other girl issue that concern my bf... Ken makes me feel so secure... AND STRESS!!!

the more number he deleted from his phonebook.. the more wide my eyes become... bearing in mind that someday he will delete all my numbers away... Anyway, i just feel he should be more open in my business.. *irregardless of how i should feel about his business* because.. when he controls too much.. i'll do what i did to JJ and CK in the past.. to do things behind their back.. just so as to prevent quarreling... u know.. those who knows me know la... but those who don't know.. don't mistaken me... i just went out with people.. and clubbing with gf and stuffs...

I wonder where does all the love in Ken came from... He dotes on me like a princess.. wah... He gives in to everything... or almost anything that i want.. that i demand.. that i asked for.. wth....

Ken pays for some of my online shopping.. which is quite a few hundred bucks... hm.. anyway... Ken is broke... and i feel i'm the cause of it.. though not really.. he doesn't stop spending when i ask him to... So.. now how?! how to feel secure with this man.. spending like nobody's business.. alamak!!

I had a dream.. that Ken was out with some friend.. and i called him... and he gave me all the details of who's late for how many minutes.. a litltle freaky.. then again... i'm glad... it's Ken... he's a handsome boyfriend... and a nice one too...

emotions fluctuation...

2006-11-27T19:31:00.000+08:00

I believe this should be for all too.. that emotions fluctuates.. it's just that our emotions fluctuate in different manner...

for mine.. i feel so much more vulnerable 1-2 weeks after menstrating.. heh... and after that.. i feel like a super women.. no need man are all.. and i think that's the best time for me to break up.. cos.. i won't be that sad..This is the period when i find fault in my man... hm.. wth.. bad habit.. not really a habit.. but the emotions is just like that.. what to do... woman lor!

issue on my mind...

2006-11-26T19:07:00.000+08:00

number 1: I am so fat.. i'll get stucked soon!!!!

number 2: I need to study now!!! i have 2 more paper to go!! and they are FaRking difficult paper to do!!!

Number 3: I wanna do lasik!!

Number 4: I want more money!!!

Number 5: I want ken to have more cash too!!!

Number 6: I should be studying!!!!

Number 7: i did so much online shopping that.. i should not shop for the next 3/4 months!!! shit! x'mas is coming!!!

Number 8: Ken is becoming a monster.. he's started to show the signs of being very possessive.. TMD.. i'm dead.. either.. i'll have no life.. else.. i will break free for my own life... shit! I'm only 21!! He a tmd great bf.. to me.. but.. i'm starting to feel afraid!!!!

The power of K800i

2006-11-25T20:21:00.000+08:00

I'm proud to present to you---> The POWER of my Sony Ericsson K800i

The function---> paranoma

I love my phone to the core.. Nokia phone seriously never ever interest me anymore...

My 2 best phone are Sony Ericsson! Superb... now wiht the cybershoot phone i have.. girls.. no need to say no camera when I'm around.. as long as my phone is there!! It's enuff!!!! yeah!!!
3.2 Megapix!
Effects: Negative, frosted glass, frame, Sephia
Add: Text, frames, slipart

Flash, red eye reduction, no flash
Macro mode, infinity!!!
Best pic, still shot, sports, auto, landscape, portrait, beach/snow, twilight landscape, twilight potrait!!

Yeah!! K800i perfect... so good that everyone should own it!!

why like that?!

2006-11-21T21:01:00.000+08:00

if quek read this.. she will definitely say.. "Aiyo.. why like that?!"

Today unhappy over something again.. why? why everytime also must be like that.. i don't think i can ever remember any instances when i can have 3 days of peace with Ken... It seems like every few days we must have some issues... Why? why like that?

Nothing wrong with him wanting his freedom... but this time round.. he wants to smoke.. then again.. nothing wrong with smokin.. i don't clasify people who smokes as idiots.. i don't think smoking means there's anything bad about this person.. except that it'll hard his health.. i think it's ok to smoke... i mean... ok.. as in for personality...

But i just don't want Ken to smoke... and because i know i have sufficient grounds and reasons for me to not want his to even smoke.. not even taste the cigarette or.. to even just smoke...

All thanks to his colleague.. who ask him for smoking break every single day...

Just for your info... i feel terrible when this happens because the first time ken has ever smoked in his life.. was when he was with me.. in May... when he went eski bar... So... am i at fault now?! i do feel i am.. though we are all adults.. and we should all respect each other's decisions and stuffs...

can say that i'm not as open or watever.. but... he claims that i'm too restrictive.. then aagin.. no one has ever tested my limits till like that before.. not only in this matter.. but in a lot of other things that he did... no one yearn for this sort of freedom like he does.. i've never seen someone like him before.. and somehow.. many kinda shit that i can't stand in the very beginning.. i'm already accepting them now...

I've learn to accept many things that he do.. all in the name of love...

Do i not love him enough? Do i love him in the wrong way?

My dad has been smoking all his life.. and whether my mum say anything about it.. i don't know.. i have absolutely no ifea.. but my mother is the kind who gives people a lot of choices.. freedom of choice.... that's why i can choose almost anything i want... then again.. i doubt she has never ssid anything about my dad smoking..

When i first got to know ken.. and knowing about his family.. i got to know that his dad used to smoke.. and has quitted... and that he did said something about not wanting to smoke.. and will not smoke.. because his dad tried so hard to quit smoking for the family... I never thought ken will smoke.. not that he's an addict now.. but i find that the mentality of thinking that he like to smoke.. and he likes to smoke once in a while is somewhat weird.. and i think wrong...

yesterday he smoked.. and because the previous time he smoked.. i had a big reaction over it.. and gave him cold shower for one whole day... so.. when i questioned him.. if he did smoke.. he denied... only until.. i am really insistant that he did smoke.. then he admitted to that... then today.. when he came near me.. i smelt the smoke again.... (all thanks to I2R for giving him a smoking buddy)

Because yesterday we came to the agreement that it's ok to do it once in a while... i had bad feelings.. and i had the intuition that he will do it more often.. it's like.. when u do something... and people ok.. agree.. and forgive to it.. the more often u will do it.. it's the same as once bitten twice shy that kinda thing...

I sort of expected it... so.. today when he told me about it.. i wasn't pissed off anymore.. but why is it that i have to guess it right?!!! why is it that i have to get it right.. that it will be even so much more frequently...

And for this that he did.. i don't wanna talk to him at all.. i don't even feel like it.. because whatever i say.. anything i say will not matter anymore.. he will still smoke... all the time.. and as i can imply and many can assume.. he smokes at least 3/4 times a week.. when he's talking to that colleague of his...

I swear.. if it's in the public.. and people are smoking.. and he do the same.. i won't show him any temper.. but i don't understand why is it that.. he wants to do it.. when he said he won't!!!! he told me.. yesterday that people change.. belief change.. and thoughts change.. so?! what is he trying to tell me?!

I know he love me.. but this kinda words that u say to me.. hurt me... and wil leave a scar in me... i don't know when to listen.. when to believe anymore.. because u pursue freedom of choice.. and freedom of expression... i can't help but wonder..

when will u scream and shout at me?

Because i'm hard to handle and i can't accept things that easily.. when will be the next time u will lie to me?

What is the next thing u will lie about?

How to trust u? for u are such a changable person...

When is the real u?

The issue is no longer about smoking... but about me and u... I don't mean to bring everything in... but this is what u are trying to tell me... about u... about your freedom of choice.. about how u wanna live ur life... About how i should never question u... about what i'm expected to do when i'm with u...

So... how?

interesting chat btw moomoo n vin...

2006-11-21T11:42:00.000+08:00

Ken = Monster, if i marry him, my child= DEVIL!!!

2006-11-19T21:57:00.000+08:00

Yest, Ken and i had quite abig commotion which started from nothing in fact.

I was ridiculous to make some remarks.. and i have to apologise for those crap that i gave him...
But he was heartless.. i thought to myself that when he said all those things despite the headache i have was really overboard!

The headache i had made me feel like crashing my head and banging it to the wall. The headache i got due to his ignorance, which i may have brought it upon myself was so bad... i hated him so much and i thought i never wanted this guy as my boyfriend...

I always have headahe.. since 3+ years back...

I had a headache which was so bad.. that i felt my head was exploding... Not the usual headache... I do have headache sometimes. But never once in my life i had a headache that was killing me.. this is the worst headache i've ever had in my life.

Even though i had a bad headache.. he continue4 lecturing me.. thinking that he was super right... But since noon, i didn't really want to talk to him... cos today just like women.. he is having his 'mood swing'.. He wasn't in the mood to talk nicely.. to be nice to me.. so today all content was him.. and all himself... There may be things which i wanted to say but i wil keep it within myself.. as today he's just too self-centered.. nothing matters to him but only hismself.. perhaps it's because his patience is reached and threshold.. BUt i'm no that a stupid women.. so i know that today is not the day to talk......

Anyway.. he lectured me.. telling me.. how i tested his patience.. and how overboard i am.. knowing that this is not the right time to talk... i SHUT up.. and said nothing.... My head was bursting.. and he sat right beside me, not understanding that this is not the right time to say anything to me.. as it's too terrible for me... not emotionally.. but physically, i'm unwell, i was nausea.. and just feeling awful..

I feel the blood rushing to my head. As though all blood consolidate in the brain. No one wouild understand how bad this kinda headache is... Only CK can...

I hated ken so badly, and badly in me.. i hope for CK to be around... just for the functional purpose to help me get rid of the headache. He alwayts know how to get rid of it.. afterall, we once got together because of headache..

And after the incident in a chat that Ken and i had, he also had the thought of calling CK, cos he knows that he is good at it.. the headache.. but refuse to do so for man's ego.. if he had did that.. i'd have love him more.. hm.......

But after telling Ken about the bad headache i had... hI told him i don't need a hug after allk these shit... but just a persistant head masssage.. An di believe that this is the longest head massage he has ever given me...

Finally.. the night ended with him massaging my head.. for me to fall asleep.. and then he slept on the floor... *kinda sweet*

Some afterthoughts...

Ken is a monster.. that's what i've been telling him today.. the whole day... That i'd never expect him to sit there stationary.. and not do anything.. to help.. but tell me that he can be emotionless too.. at times.. though not all the time...

I was shocked.. stunned.. i understnad that people have temper too.. but not that someone obviously is unwell.... anyway.. it's over...

I have trouble typing the whole thing out.. as ithe emotions for that incident had long been used up.. and i can't write essay for nuts...

Ken has beemn dropping hair recently.. so.. he said.. " Next time.. u better make sure our childern had hair!!" I said: " i think it's more impt to make sure that our childern is not a devil!"

Ken is nice when his frustration is used up.. he'll talk to me nicely.. and be nice.. But i've never cried so hard and have such a bad headache before.. i doin't know if this is good.. that i have a great boyfriend who bothers to pamper and admit mistake.. and give me shit once in a while...

Will post up somethin he did for me.. which is very nice.. in another entry.. together with some photos.. yeap yeap.. it's time to put in some photos.. again.. my blog is super shor tof photo...

Just to put this down.. as a reminder.. so that i have no choice.. but to post!! haha...........

*to remind myself: to post an entry to dinner at original SIN!!!!!!*

so fat.. i will soon get stuck..

2006-11-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

i have been stationarily rooted to my seat.. since sunday... studying.. or rather.. i should call that MUGGGIN.. sounds more studious...

wahahhaha...

Ntohing much have happened.. but as i told quek the other day... i realise how stupid CK is... he's lousy.. and she has decided that never will her children be called CK... for some reasons which i did mentioned in my earlier blog..

These few days.. i've come up with some conclusion:

Alvin is also a nice guy.. who do nice things to girls..
CK is a stupid idiot...
Love can make a girl who hate smoking smokes 2nd hand all the time..
Men MUST wait for break up liao.. then will come 'sar ka'... applicable to 2 gf..
my cousin feels bored.. and need me to update my blog...
my life is no longer that interesting.. because it has stabilise...
I'm not that stupid afterall.. just not htat smart...
christmas is coming.. and presents will burn the pocket.. and it hurts super much esp.. when i start to earn my own $$$.. then i have to use my own $$ to but present.. last time.. take $ that time.. heart doesn't ache that much leh..
Ken can sleep the whole weekend
i'm liking ken more... and the more i like him.. the more i can accept him...
nowadays... accompanying learning aid for text books are DVD! no more VCD! and it's interactive!!! super leh..
My arse is growing fatter.. this is more about biomaterials..*esplain when i'm free
whenever ken sleeps on the bed... the matteress get very "jiao" cos. he very many inertia.. then hard to move.. when he moves.. he pull the matteress... and then... his big body crumples everything!! wth... hate it la...
i have been using KNS too often...
had been a long time since i feel so connected with a GF-QUEK... last time i think was in JC... then no more....

Somethings tat i wanna do after the exams.. let me list them down.. so that it'll deter me from NOT NOT doing it..

eat lesser
meet denise-she's still one of the best sia... sometimes people have bf.. then they forget about it.. but she WON'T.. but then hard to say leh.. her bf not in Singapore la.. wahahha...
Read the whole of ABRSM book 1 and 2... prepare for grade 6 theory
Do specimen paper
Pack the rm at hm
ask spencer, pius, kenneth, linus for meal.. they are the best bunch of meal students... that 2 pairs of brothers are interesting like hell.. so cute.. the younger ones.. and the older ones are so nice people.. nice guys sia....
plan timetable for next semester
get all BIE peoples email address.. will be organising outings for BIE during IA sem! cos i love all the people like victor, alvin, shun, yuanfeng, yukai, lawrence and blah blah blah blah.. girls.. the indonesian girls.. they are the nicest people...
move hm...
contact micheal heng, patrick, terence goh for meet up to talk about future prospect...
to think of other things to do... and write them down the next blog...

okok.. i think that's all for now...

i need to think of how to make more $$ in smarter way.. and what i can do to improve my life....

I'm hoping to go east timor.. for some voluntary work..... i hope it's successful...

I'm also hoping to go for cruise.... yeah!! some holiday.. this is a busy busy semester!!!

Yeah.. i think have to get back to books.. lai.. exams lai..

i must stay motivated and study hard!!!!!! that's what i need to do!!!! sia....

Ken Soh got beaten up by me...

2006-10-30T12:13:00.000+08:00

I was so angry.. i don't even know if i should call that emotion as being angry...

nvm.. he picked up a girl on the train, with the simple topic of a thumb drive!

WTF!

I mean.. he's this kind.. i don't believe that people should never ever change.. but rather change at the appropriate time..

And it's natural and only right.. i feel, in my point of view.. that for a guy...

after u have a girlfriend.. u should stop talking to stranger GIRL... and that u should not be exchanging numbers and watever all so often.. or perhaps.. not even do it...

It's not about right or wrong.. not about values.. but something that one should ought to do in order to show sincerity and love.. or watever crap isn't it so?!

And for a girl, not to go around flirting and giving away numbers.. or never to approach stranger man to initiate a chat.. i mean.. really strangers... co-workers and friend's friend's.. acquaintance in some socail gatherings and stuff. i can understand.. but not some girl who approach u on the internet or some girl who is holding on to a thumb drive! KEN THAT BUGGER!!!

yeah yeah yeah.. he picked me up.. but he was single.. i maybe even desperate!

Doing such a thing now, that he's with me...wth... telling me that i'm of no value..

and that i'm so bloody busy.. he has to chat up with other people...

he gives reasons that he does not differentiate friends... so.. it doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl.. who the hell cares.. if u have a bf or u have a gf, u jolly well.. BEHAVE! yourself.. watch ur actions!!

bloody hell...

i was so *don't know what kinda feeling * that i just hit him anyhow...

pain?! i don'tknow.. but u should know that my strength is not that small lla... hor... get it?!

3 shit on 3 weekend.. how to carry on?!

He claimed that he didn't know that it'll hurt so much.. now that he knows.. he won't do it...

I know he has no ill intention, but the actions is not forgivable.. because he doesn't behave.. and... hey hey.. tel u pepps something he said.. got me so fumed up!

he said:" i'm sorry, i didn't mean to hurt u with my actions.. though they have NO ILL INTENTION.."

who the hell does this kinda apology with an * behind telling u that i'm apologising so that can make u feel better.. but i'm not in the wrong.. cos i didn't know... What a bf i have... gosh!

last thing i need...

2006-10-24T18:57:00.000+08:00

Who doesn't know that u have no flaws?!

*please stop breathing!!*

Which of u being so egoistic can still know deep inside u that u have flaws

*please stop breathing!!*

Great... all men knows that they have flaws...

So do i!

So.. last thing i'll ever need is for someone to put a crown on me and tell me that i'm a princess and then later tell me how sucky i am!!!

I hate it when bad things happen... so much so.. that for things that i do.. i often take precaution.

For the 1st 6 months that i was with Ken, we been through a lot!!

SOOOoooo much!!!

many shitty stuffs...

But for many of those times, i know i'll treat him like shit.. so.. when he wants to come to NTU, i told him no! When he wants to do things for me... i said NO!

And i even initiated a break up... as i know my heart cannot entirely be with him... but he said.. he know.. and he wanted to continue... cos... he likes me.. and he has faith that i'll treat him as nice as i treat CK one day...

SO... now.. i'm pissed... not because i am being blamed for treating him bad...

WEll, i admit and i know that i was a lousy gf... But... just as i'm treating him nice.. he do things that upsets me.. then give me the reason that everything has its lag time. When i question why didn't he do sucky thing to me.. when i treated him bad.. Why is it that now that i'm treating him better that he upsets me?!

And his reason for him doing things that upset me.. is because i have no time for him. And that i used to upset him so much that he's unknowingly doing things which upsets me... I can understand that i do upset him... But it doesn't give him a reason to do things to upset me... Not when what i can infere from what is says is that...

*in future: " u r too busy for me?! that's why i need to find company with other people/affair... Think about it!"

If he's gonna keep using what i did to him for the 1st 6 months against me.. i can jolly well be a slave to him... And then perhaps i can make use of how now that we are both in love yet he's doing stuff to make me upset as a reason for all shit that i can throw to him! And i will say..." Well, i doni't practise lag time!"

I hate it when i'm blamed for something that he promise on...

I hate it when i'm blamed for something i take precaution about...

I hate it when i'm pampered and coax like a princess.. then tell me how sucky i am...

If u really love me... don't injure me like this... tell me my faults...

My friend all tell me my faults.. they don't hurt me like that!!

And who doesn't know that he/she has faults?!

tell me?!!

JS said: "Show me someone without flaws, and i'll show you the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!"

I feel so hurt... 3rd time... in such a short time. I see what kinda shit i can get from him... What can i do next?!

The greatest hurt comes when " u make me fly! then u took away my wings! "

my hair's wet..

2006-10-24T00:21:00.000+08:00

My hairs wet.. so i decide to tell you what happen over the weekend...

I would like to say that i'm so unfilial... argh.. Friday's my mum's birthday...And i spent the night... quarreling with Ken...

Anyway... let me tell you what ken did...

First as u all know that Ken was communicating with this girl... And today, i mean friday, Ken took one step further...

He met up with her... *i know her name but i'm not gonna say it... Cos it'll pissed me off!* Anyway, He met up with her, and played game and had dinner.

When i called him, he picked up the phone and told me to meet him at the foodcourt. So i went, and i saw her there. * i was hoping that it's not her and some other friend instead* But wala.. it's her...

i didn't do anything.. but said: " ken, i mean what i said!"

And i left...

He pursued and urgh.. so sucky to say all these things out... wth....

Anyway.. i was angry.. disappointed.. and upset... urgh...

but now i'm fine le... Ken, please don't upset me again!!! please....

woohoo...a tribute to CK...

2006-10-16T17:52:00.001+08:00

well.. have u ever wonder why is CK called CK?! or why some words end with CK.. that is so.. we can easily recognise a person's character or... fins adjectives to describe a person...

for example... Fuck U C K...
and... also Stupid U C K...

these are works to describe or watever.... haven't u even realise?!
Well, ask me then.. i'm on person knowleable in this field.. because i have contactd with to many people call CK...
first, my ex... C K... he suck big time...
Then... my driving instructor Tan C K...
tthen my lecturer, K.. CK...

It is a wonder why all these CK sucks.. till i unreveal the mystery...
Anyway.. these are the contents which make me wanna pay a tribute to him...

Anyway.. my ex doesn't even dare tell his Cassandra that he always like to contact this girl call Elena who happens to be his ex. He dare not tell his Cassandra that i'm right beside him when i am... pushing the question again and again.. just like in the past... unlucky little petite little air stewardess... Fern.. if u happen to see Cassandra... let her know how she's kept in the dark.. and tell her that there are much better guys out there for her *just kidding.. we shouldn't mind bizness too much*

Oh yeah... CK is a big mouth who tells people about my stuffs... tell my stuffs to his friends. . whom his friend told me about htat... and i swear.. to minimise any contact with him ever... cos he suck too much!?! wth... like a girl.. go bitching about... *we can be pardon if we are girl, women, ladies... but him.. no!!!! cos he always like to be a man.. a very very egoistic man....

anyway, why did he scold me childish?! because i once asked him how much does Cassandra earn a month, so he asked me why i asked...

So i said... i can't get my aspiratoin of being an air stewardess.. so i aim to earn more than an air-stewardess.

So he said.. i bo liao?! well, in life, we always work hard. And if u can't be something, to make urself feel better of course u work in a different way to be better than what u initially wanted but can't get... right?!!?

so... wth...
um.. well, here goes... the bright blue one belongs to him.. the other one--me!

contd:

contd(last one)

well... He's a loser i feel.. no more feelings attached to this idiot.. i promise!

*disclaimer: don't mean to offend anyone else who's initial is CK, so my apologies... unless u deserved to be called a bastard.

another shit from ken...

2006-10-15T16:28:00.000+08:00

i was talking to him last night.. and was like.. throwing things out.. to make him feel bad and awful and blah blah blah... i told him that i called CK to tell him stuffs...well, i didn't only call him.. but many other people as well... shunz... talked to thip, orange... so. CK was just someone else to talk to.. and i took the opportunity to scold him.. telling him tha ti dont' wanna be nice to Ken.. just in case he takes me for granted... like how HE USED TO DO!!! i was so pissed off.. i wanted to even call Zhixian... ahah.. shit... so that we can bitch and bad-mouth about ken together!

He said that "i don't even contact my ex".... --with GREAT confidence and pride!

Then... at 1.30pm. Zhixian called him... and he only picked up the phone call... and said"it's ok.. nothing already!"

then i was puzzled.. so i asked.. who's that.. and he said "Zhixian"

WTF!

dont' tell me this kinda crap with so much confidence.. just to let me know that u did even call her! POT CALLING THE KETTLE!

tamade!

Say so much about me... contacting my ex... then u call only Zhixian.. wtf... it feels like Zhixian can understnad and know u so well that u call no one else but her! I fucking kill him!

stupid Ken Soh

2006-10-15T16:21:00.000+08:00

He tried to explain and justify.. which is useless.. all me.. and my friends and my gf... all thinks that that's not justifiable!

He finally came to apology... but... wasn't really forgiven...

He said that he didn't do anything out of the way or put in more effort to get things done for that girl... but...

i told him that it's not about what she did... but rather... what u did as a man.. who willingly reciprocated...

That suck.. she's young... and it feels like some hum sup lao beh beh.. trying ot be nice to some young girl......wth....

I think it's even better if that girl is 23/24.. there's actually more reasons for him to make a friend...

i know.. there should not be any limits and boundaries and blah blah blah...... but then.. this only shows how easily u can make a friend...

His age of making friend the way he did was long over... and that now he has a gf... he has no right to go around flirting and making friends just like that.. Just like when i started getting serious.. i do not go online and start being friends with people... i stop all those contact i have online... See...

I told him that it is normal to make friends online.. but not when u have a gf or bf.... how will the other party feel?! right?! and it certainly feels sucky that it was the time when we really did get together. and as though the relationship was in adequate.... sucky!

after talking to orange...

2006-10-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

After talking to orange.. i decided to give ken another chance....

Only to find greater dissapointment.

I was outside his door, his slippers were gone. I called his bro, as i saw that his room's light were off.

his bro:" my brother is sleeping"

me:" can u open the door for me?"

He opened the door, everyone was looking at me.

I walked in, went into his room and tada... bed was empty.

He can even lie... "Great job!" i msged Ken.

thank u QUEK!

2006-10-14T19:19:00.000+08:00

Ah quek is so nice... such a darling... she stated that i have my darling KEn with me.. but i doubt so...

read the older blog... "in memory... Ken"

This is an entry to say thanks to my quek...

Well, that's why i always tell ken that Moocha is the best... and it really is...

I won't be talking to ken so some time.. i haven't talk to hi since i sorta chased him out of the house loast night... I mean.. i can understand if he met up with some girlfriends or even eX, i think it's no big prob... at most i'll throw a little tantrum and then forget it.. with a littel mubble here and there.. but for this matter... I feel utterly disappointed with him!!!!

And i just had a fight on MSN with CK... what the fuck!?! life sucks!?! sat 14th isn't too good for me.....

so again... QUEK ROX !!!

KEN SUCKS!

in memory of Ken Soh

2006-10-14T18:24:00.000+08:00

I feel so great now...

These few days, i'm just getting started to give in to Ken, love him more and accompany him homr more often then usual.

Life wasn't good in the past but now it's go great to feel in love with him.

Yesterday saw this girl's number in his ph. Well, i didn't check on him, but just that i saw it when he was reading his msgs... And he's nice... always being very frank to me... he told me that this girl whom he got a msg from was a 17 year old girl.

He met her on friendster. She was the one who sent him a msg. And then i think she left him her number. That was about 2-3 months ago.*me n ken was really on great terms since only june.

And when i asked if he met her before. He said yes. Once at PS. Wow.... such a great boyfriend i have... he met up with a girl whom approached him online. Well done.

I'm so in love with ken!

FUCK! CHEE BYE!

Singaporean r so F* up!!!

2006-10-06T16:55:00.000+08:00

Today... my 2 stupid phone went low batt! tmd!

I have tuition... and i had HRM meeting.. it took so long.. got a little fiery... and in the end.. i'm late for my tuition...

Anyway... i was in the MRT taking the NEL home... and wtf.. i'm in the train itself.. and i asked an uncle to lend me the handphone...

Well, i mean. it was a little too much that i asked to change the sim card from my handphone into his phone so that i can retrieve a number... but he said that in a ridiculous chinese tone:" huh? how can u not remember the number?"

I was like " but it's not my number!"

He was like " Ridiculous.. it's your number and yet you can't remember the number?!"

I was like... " why would i remember the number?!"

In me... i was thinking.. what the hell would i remmebr the number.. i just wanted to call my student's mum to tell her that i'll be late home.. so don't come over so quickly... and... then... dont' wanna lend me phone.. then suah la.. tell me that i'm being stupid to not remmeber the number that i wanna call.. if i can remember... i save the number in my phonebook for what? the fuck? right??!!!!!!

Stupid uncle..

Next came a stupid later.. i dont' know if she's a fillipino maid.. or a mix blood or what ever F*!

And as u know.. my phone low batt.. so i don't hae the humbers to call.. so.. i took out my laptop.. switched it on.. and started looking for the contact list in my laptop... which somehow.. ultimately.. i found it.. so...

i decided to ask the lady sitting beside me *the previous uncle got downa t doby gauht* to ask her if she can lend me the handphone... and she said :" who are u wanting to call?"

I was like.. am i suppose to explain the situation to u?!

so i said:" i am late for something.. so i need to call to inform!"

she said that in a very politically right way " sorry i can't help!"

can't help then can't help la... she still have to add..

" If you want i can give u some money to make the phone call at the public phone..."

WTF! dont' lend.. then don't lend la.. no need to lend me money to make phone call la... i that poor meh?! i can even afford to buy a new handphone! but my goodness that was an MRT train!! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!

Singaporeans are so fucking skeptical... not that i mind that fact and not that i think that it's ridiculous.. but situation is that we are in a train.. we are in a cabin.. where can i run to?!

FUCK!

A tribute to Ken...

2006-09-28T08:54:00.000+08:00

I'm getting more and more techie... haha...
First.. i'm using my laptop... um.. Fujitsu laptop.. super good.. super fast! Wow!!
And i'm using the window vista interface... super cool.. and super nice.. see the pictures.. i can even make it like transparent!!! wow!!! hahaha...

I'malso using the 3M Digital Post-it! wonderful!! i have my own memoboard on the desk top!!!

My laptop is running faster.. i use the keyboard more than the mouse now...
Not for typing of course.. but to cruise around the stuffs...
WOW!

Then... a very big thank you to Ken... for my new K800i... wanted to trade in the N70 to Singtel...
But bloody hell.. i can only get $250 cos.. i don't have my original memory card... So.. i went sourcing around.. and finally got a price that is close to 400.. but due to lack of this and lack of that.. i sold it for a final $300.. but i'm satisfied with the price.. since.. i can get to keep the memory card... WOW!!

K800i! the most perfect phone i have ever had.. nothing can ever be better than this!!!! I can't believe it... I love sony ericsson... It has all the technology.. space.... and great camera feature... i don't ahve to bring out a camera... well.. not that i have one.. but i don't have an extra bulk to carry. and the k800i is so much lighter than my N70! plus.. lighter than the other phone i have.. the N7370.. that swirvel phone... haha... yeap yeap.. i have 2 phones... and my mum is also using the swirvel phone with me. so is ken.. i'm gonna get kent o change phone soon.. change it to K800i too!!! wow!!

different phase of life

2006-09-13T11:54:00.000+08:00

when you are in different phase of your life with your partner. You think differently, you behave differently, you want different things...

I had been sick these few days... Even a normal friend tongkuan called me last night to ask if i'm ok... and had been very willing to help in whatever thing i needed...

I went back home on monday.. all cause i'm more willing to do things for ken nowadays... cos i love him more... Sometimes i felt he was being selfish... well, maybe because i always do not give in... so when there is a chance that he can be selfish then he just give it all out...

Then came tuesday... i was busy... and was rushing around the whole day... now i'm sicker... i had fever last night... i didn't go to school because i was emotionally unstable as well...

Why.. because, ken wasn't there when i need him... Not even a simple phone call... He was out with his friend. i don't know which friend. i don't bother to know... i just know that he was having fun.. socialising the was he wanted to... cos i have no time for him anymore...

What upsets me is... Why is it that whenever my boyfriend is sick... i was always there... even when ken is sick... he was at my place resting... a few weeks back.. and months back when he wasn't even my boyfriend... and he was at my hall.. he was sick.. fever... so hot.. i took care of him the whole night... and i was worried.. had to keep checking on him...

Yes... i may not be that sick.. but why is it that whenever i'm sick.. my boyfriend are not with me... it was like that when it was with CK... now... i'm sick... and Ken's not even around...

To think yesterday, i was worried that his tuition student kept him there and out of concern i called him to se if he's ready to go hm to rest early... He's already with some friends... out.. socialising or meeting up... Not even replying the msgs that i sent... i still thought that he was busy with tuition... Hate this kind when i'm trying to be considerate... then all i know is that he wasn't even busy... he was relaxing away.... I don't know.. i don't like that feeling...

I'm sure he know that feeling better than i do.. having not been reciprocated for more than 4/5 months....in the beginning of the year...

I'm not angry.... i don't normally stay angry for too long... Like what a friend of mine said... i'm diverting the blame all on myself... Now i don't like the way i can't understand that he need to socialise... i don't understand the need for him to be free...

I think i suck sometimes... but... then again... I thought i will be well taken care of... but where's ken? when i needed him? I don't normally need a guy... but where's he when i needed him..

*A BlitHe HeArt MAkes A BloOming ViSagE*

Stupidity

The End

Pacifying me...

Hm...

Hectic life of changes

Corporate Life

updates

my birthday

men are men...

It has been quite some time...

For the love of my life...

Love poem.. for my far away lover...

Company DnD

lover...

What Kind of Date Are You?

Sexy...

How Sexy Are You?

My Ba Zi

Personality and Character

Romance and Compatibilities

Profession

Adopt a child...

that one...

Flowers everyday...

am i lost?

New look... new job...

Convo hat...

GE healthcare

Stress! scared!

This is me... heh...

12.30am

04/05/08

My holiday trip to China... really holiday... heh...

Why am i not Rich...

What's there for me...

The devil wears a prada!

22 April 2008

It's really haunting... they are werid... crazy!

Welcome to the family....

My moocha is so man!!!

QUEK's bday...

Alvin-Bang's birthday!

0.5 million

Some recent pictures....

avg target = consistent?

生病了。。。

My favourite chinese quote

Career? Family?

Spectie Duckie

Ken's Convo...

Cuties...

512...

Limster

Most recent photo

My so cute Hello KITTY

My bf's blog...

I love my Canon IXUS!!!

Friday 13.. late...

MY lovely blade!

I'm so envious...

Ken's Gift..

urm... resolution?!

Some photos i got together...

dedicated to Ken

Star Cruise 2007

love-hate

unhappiness again...

VS collection!

Mozilla...

Essentially me

Somwhere over the rainbow

Pink is a little too sweet

2nd year anniversary

My christmas present this year... From Ken...

Charlize says: I don't have many best friends...

It's winter time!

Dream..

redefined...

An audition...

A BlitHe HeArt MAkes A BloOming ViSagE